Thursday SPORTS

Parcells emerges at a Rangers game …Now, the media that truly cares so much about this can go on with their lives. Now, you can finally ask him about Bobby Carpenter! I bet he will say he likes him, followed by something along the lines of “he will have to prove it at camp” and he will have to get Parcells water.

There were several funny exchanges between Parcells and KTVT/Channel 11's Babe Laufenberg, who does a weekly in-season show with Parcells and obviously knows him well enough to joke with him.

Laufenberg tried several times to get Parcells to appear on camera, but Parcells refused.

"I never did like the nickname 'Tuna,'" Laufenberg said. "I never did. You know what your new one is? Phil. Punxsutawney Phil. You see your shadow and you go back into your little enclave for the next six weeks."

Parcells responded by saying: "I'm not mandated. If it's mandated, I'm there. Am I accessible during the season?"

Laufenberg then pointed out Parcells had always been accessible on draft day, but wasn't this year.

"I had nothing to say," Parcells said.
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And there is good news for Cowboys fans and media starved for information from Parcells.

"I'm coming out of my hole on Friday," he said.

Meanwhile, at the game itself, Jon Koronka dazzles again ….

On a night when the offense seemed dead on its feet after another early-morning flight, Koronka, who had flown ahead of the team, kept the Rangers in it single-handedly.

The bullpen followed Koronka's lead by allowing no walks and getting ground balls. Then with one out in the 12th, DeRosa, who is 8-for-15 (.533) since returning from the disabled list Sunday, lined a full-count pitch into the right-field stands. In Rangers parlance, he went "Oppo Taco." Don't ask. It's a Ranger thing.

When DeRosa finally crossed home plate, his teammates were ready with the requisite celebration. They are getting good at it. Three of the Rangers' last six home games have been walk-off wins. Regardless of site, the Rangers have won five straight and 10 of their last 13.

DeRosa got a postgame beer bath, but Koronka laid the foundation for the win by working quickly, getting ground balls and eliminating walks.

It was Koronka's second straight home start of at least eight innings. He's going places other Rangers starters haven't seen. Only once in the jet-stream era, which began in 2000 with the construction of the glass-enclosed premium seating area behind home plate, has a pitcher tamed the conditions long enough to last eight innings in consecutive home outings. Ryan Drese did it in 2004.

By the way, If you were wondering where this Koronka guy came from, Rotowire said this in March:

"Koronka doesn't throw hard, and while he has decent control, no one is going to mistake him for David Wells. The best thing he has going for him is being left-handed, which could land him a middle-relief job at some point." He did a better job of keeping the ball in the park in 2005, if you want to dig for something.

Tonight, Game 6 at Staples Center, Kobe will not be hounded or body slammed by Raja Bell. Bell talked to the media …and did not claim to have hopes of a friendship with Kobe….

On whether he hates Bryant:

"I don't hate him and I don't respect him."

On missing tonight's game:

"That's going to hurt. I'm a competitor and I like to get out there and provide what I can for a team. I feel like I let them down a little bit. On the flip side of that, I'm a man. I'm human and I felt like a line had been crossed over."

On what he thought of Jackson's repeated expletive-laced comments to him:

"I thought that was kind of bush league from such a good coach. It was the first time he said something directly to me, especially coming on a play where he hit me pretty good in the jaw. That was a little bush league."

On what he did after Jackson said that to him:

"I just walked the other way. What am I going to say to him?"

On what he does not respect Bryant:

"I have no respect for him. Because I think he's a pompous, arrogant individual. I think a lot of people let him get away with things and he feels like he's supposed to get away with them and I don't agree with that."

Does Barkley have a gambling issue? …yes, says Charles…

Barkley said Wednesday on ESPN that he has lost "probably $10 million" gambling, adding, "It is a problem for me."

"My agent has really worked with me to try to get it where I can go and gamble and have fun," he said. "That's easier said than done.

"Do I have a gambling problem? Yeah, I do have a gambling problem but I don't consider it a problem because I can afford to gamble. It's just a stupid habit that I've got to get under control, because it's just not a good thing to be broke after all of these years," he added.

Barkley told ESPN that he's working to solve the problem.

"I gamble too much, I gamble for too much money," he said. "And it's something I have to address ... I am addressing it, that would be the best way to explain it.
"I think the most difficult thing, No. 1, I've got to realize no matter how much I win it ain't a lot -- it's only a lot when I lose. And you always lose. I think it's fun, I think it's exciting. I'm gonna continue to do it but I have to get to a point where I don't try to break the casino 'cause you never can," he said.

Sad Piano in Calgary, At home, they are shut-out …And they just couldn’t pressure the net. So, in the East, seeds 1-2-3-4 advance, but in the West, it is 5-6-7-8. You should never gamble on sports…

Despite a Northwest Division title, a 100-plus point season and a veteran team that had posted an outstanding home-ice record, the Flames fizzled in their biggest test against a younger and quicker Ducks team that beat them at their own game with speed, forechecking and a strong counter-attack.

"They outworked us. It's sad to say," Warrener admitted. "Our team has always prided ourselves on being the hardest working team but throughout this series they proved they were willing to pay a bigger price. Tonight it showed. It's been the whole series. There were times we did show up and outwork them but consistently we didn't do it well enough."

Minnesota Vikings have another problem! No way! After 3 months, Vikings can their new Executive …

This is the Vikings' brain trust, and in a world full of promising young NFL executives, they chose Faux Fran as their guy, even though NFL insiders know Foley was a fifth-string poseur in the San Diego Chargers front office.

The "brain" trust failed to discover Foley lied on his résumé and overstated his influence in the front offices of the Chargers and Jaguars. They also failed to detect that his personality, if what we're hearing is true, would alienate just about everyone he spoke to.

The guy looked a little like Fred Flintstone, but he lacked Fred's savoir-faire.
The Vikings did well to essentially fire Foley, but why did they ever hire him?
Saturday night, Foley held a news conference at Winter Park to discuss the team's highly unimpressive draft. While addressing the selection of Alabama State quarterback Tarvaris Jackson, Foley said, "We're very pleased with everything that we have learned about the boy."

I was there, taking notes by hand, and wasn't sure I heard it correctly. The sentence did not appear that way on the team's transcripts of the news conference.
Tuesday, I listened to a recording, and there it was: "We're very pleased with everything that we have learned about the boy."

If Foley doesn't know how heinous it is to call a black man "boy," how did the Vikings search committee not encounter a few red flags while doing due diligence on someone who was to become a valued member of their Exalted Isosceles?

And what does this say about the other decisions the Vikings' "brain" trust has made?

With each passing day, this looks like an amateur operation, a place where Les Steckel would be king.

Wilf is a typical new NFL owner. Typical new owners don't know enough to know they don't know enough about the league, which is why they usually need an experienced general manager, not a rookie coach, to lean on.

Football (Soccer) references in Spinal Tap ….

FOOTBALL IN SPINAL TAP: REPRISE

"In the legendary rockumentary, This Is Spinal Tap, bass player Derek Smalls wears an early 80s Umbro football shirt in several scenes, including the famous airport security scene. Who did he support? It looks a bit like Bradford City to me, but I thought he was from the West Midlands," expounds Mark Meadowcroft while adjusting
his spandex strides, strapping on his axe and turning his amp up to 11.

We've dealt with this enquiry before Mark, back in the day when money didn't matter and it was just about the music. The garment you speak of was in fact a Shrewsbury Town replica shirt.

"Speaking of Derek Smalls in his Shrewsbury shirt, only a true Tap obsessive will have spotted David St Hubbins's favourite team: Wolverhampton Wanderers," says Stephen Buckland, going one louder. "As the band arrive in New York for their very first gig, the guitarist and vocalist can be seen sporting the familiar gold and black scarf behind manager Ian Faith. It's only a few frames, but it's there. Buy the video, folks."

Meanwhile Andy Barnes says that "while watching Spinal Tap again, I noticed Derek Smalls sporting a claret and blue baseball cap a lot through the first half of the film. The writing is difficult to make out, but as they go barbers shop at the grave of The King, you can just make out the words West Ham across the front. A pretty good reference to their supposed east-end roots, but a bit odd considering he's got his Shrewsbury Town shirt on at the same time."

They do this every year, and I fall for it every year; Salary.com tells us how much one should get paid for wearing sweats and visiting Starbucks …just kidding…

Salary.com on Wednesday released its annual market valuation of a mother's work. After talking with 400 stay-at-home and working mothers, it determined the 10 major jobs a mother performs at home and the number of hours she typically devotes to each of those jobs.

Researchers then tried to determine the competitive market value that an employer would pay for one person to do a blend of those 10 jobs seven days a week.
Salary.com determined that a stay-at-home mother might be paid as much as $134,121 for her contributions as a housekeeper, cook, day care center teacher, janitor and CEO, among other functions. (See full list at right.) The stay-at-home mothers surveyed said they logged a total of 92 hours a week performing those jobs.

The market valuation for working mothers – who make up close to 70 percent of all mothers with kids under 18 -- comes to $85,876, assuming a 50-hour week in the Mom role. That would be on top of whatever salary a working mother draws from her job outside the home, working 44 hours.

For Dan: More Cowbell! …

EA Sports with a miserable Quarter …Sell, Sell, Sell….

Electronic Arts Inc., the world's biggest video-game maker, on Wednesday posted a fourth-quarter loss after it acquired Jamdat Mobile Inc., and said sales this quarter will miss analysts' average estimate.

The loss of $16 million, or 5 cents a share, compares with net income of $8 million, or 2 cents, a year ago. Sales rose 16 percent to $641 million, the Redwood City, Calif.-based company said.

And now, we close with some email:

Bob,

You are getting me all fired up over this Spurs vs. Mavs talk. The Spurs are as beatable as they have been in past years. They beat their franchise record for wins this year and you are saying they are more vulnerable than they have ever been. I think you are a little over-confident. The Mavs are better than they have ever been, maybe thats why you think the Spurs are down. However, you wouldn't be saying the Spurs were vulneralbe had they played the Grizz instead of Sacramento. The Spurs have no one that can guard Ron Artest and Bonzi Wells. The Mavs don't have anybody that can dominate the Spurs perimeter defenders in the post. I agree with you that this is a toss up series, but its not because the Spurs are weaker than they have been in the past. They are fine. I love it though that you want to beat the Champs on the way to your championship. Lets just hope that the Spurs take care of their business with the Kings. Love the show dude. Later.

Trey

P.S. Spurs fans are know worse than Mavs fans. Both sides have dumb fans.

Trey-

first, you are right. Both sides have dumb fans, but I am not saying what I am saying because of the Kings series! I have said there is something wrong with the Spurs for months. And there is! Tim Duncan is nowhere near his normal level, and their supporting cast looks really old and many nights they do nothing. The Spurs are great, just not as great-

Todd in carrollton here,

if you put marty on the trade block right now, you will have a fist full of offers to pick from tonight,

the reason, solid play in the regular season, without it, you dont have to worry about the playoffs, 'cause you aint gonna be there! how many teams would have gotten into the playoffs with that handfull of extra points from being flawless in shootouts?? you can say shootouts dont matter in the playoffs, but if the points get you in, they do!!

also, the greatness of eddie the eagle didnt blaze into post season studlyness in his first three appearances, so watch out for what you wish for,

baby arm

Actually, Eddie “the Eagle” Belfour was just fine in his first 3 playoff runs. Let’s look at the numbers through 3 playoff runs.

Eddie: 18-10, won 4 series, went to Stanley Cup Finals, age 27 after 3rd year.
Marty: 8-14, won 1 series, age 30 after 3rd year.

Sorry, there is no comparison between the two.