Thursday, August 11, 2005

Cancer Suspended for a Week

Owens sent home

Terrell Owens was sent home by the Eagles yesterday, and when he got to his spacious, white stucco estate in Moorestown, he simultaneously did two things he hadn't been doing during his 10 days at training camp with the team.
He talked to reporters and he signed autographs.

While he entertained neighbors and fans who just happened to be driving by T.O.'s posh neighborhood, the Eagles responded to the wide receiver's one-week suspension with a two-sentence statement.

"Terrell Owens has been sent home from training camp due to undisclosed team issues," the Eagles said. "He is expected to return to the team on Wednesday, August 17th."

Owens, his publicist and his agent all confirmed that the wide receiver was sent home by the Eagles after a disagreement with coach Andy Reid during a team meeting following the Eagles' morning practice at Lehigh University in Bethlehem, Pa.
An Eagles source said the disagreement between the coach and receiver stemmed from cumulative incidents, including the fact that he did not participate in autograph sessions that the Eagles schedule on a daily basis during training camp at Lehigh University. Owens, who is in a well-documented contract dispute with the Eagles, did not join his fellow wide receivers in the autograph tent Sunday and yesterday

I said it when he was acquired, and I will say it again: The Eagles will not win the Super Bowl with Cancer playing Wide Receiver – The football gods will not allow it. Release him, and you just might win. Incidentally, the same edict was on the Vikings until recently. I fully expect them to do well now that they traded Cancer for Napoleon Harris and a 1st Round Pick.

And now, we cover golf. That means, we cover Tiger Woods.

Old Tiger versus new Tiger

A fine essay on how many majors Woods, Jack, and Jones have

My prediction for the PGA Championship: Tiger Woods wins. Now, back to other sports.

Rogers returns; Colishaw calls it correct …There is no question, the season turned on two events. Drese and Kenny. Look it up. The records don’t lie. 24-33 since Drese was released. The Rangers were 32-24 at that point, and now are under .500, and look like the keystone cops out there. Something smells bad on the Rangers team, and it is getting to a point where no one should be safe.

Because of the ruling of a narrow-minded arbitrator, Kenny Rogers returned to the Rangers on Tuesday just in time to enjoy one of his favorite things in baseball.
Meaningless games in August.

For the second year in a row, a senseless act by a Rangers pitcher has removed the team from contention in the American League West.

A year ago, it was rookie pitcher Frankie Francisco hurling a chair into the Oakland stands and breaking the nose of a female spectator. His suspension for the final two weeks shortened the Rangers' bullpen and initiated the team's slide into third place.

Lebreton on Parcells and Owens

Jen Floyd tackles the “Age-Old” question

Since When did Jay Mohr have a column on …He once called me a Homo. Good Times.

Heder cracks the door for Napoleon 2

Despite having shot down hopes for a "Napoleon" sequel, Heder expressed a possible shift in the winds. "I'll never say yes or no to that kind of thing, unless we start shooting it," Heder said. "We get [the sequel] question a lot, but we never thought about it when we made the [first] movie. I guess it could happen.

"I think it would be fun to do, but it's just gotta be done right, I guess," he continued. "Nothing is written down yet, but I don't know. We'll see what happens. It's been more, like, joked about, but we have no idea."

Heder added that he's not afraid about being typecast as "the nerd."

"I don't mind. It's fun playing a dorky guy — or someone ugly," Heder said. "It's easy playing someone ugly and eccentric."

Fan jumps on Foul Net

Bradshaw sees Harrington, and is not impressed

"Heck, this morning in practice he made a lot of bad decisions," Bradshaw said. "I'm sitting there with Matt going, 'Oh, that's not good, that's not good, that's not good, that's not good.'

"In practice you should be a little sharper than that, I think, but who knows what they're trying to do? I'm not in the huddle over there.

"I liked him. I liked him going out of college. I like talking to him. He's an upbeat kid. But you never know internally how he's going to handle all of this."

Dan Band videos

Survivor News! …Its back September 15th…

Warning: HBO Content Funny Entourage Bits

And finally, here is an email about yesterday’s Def Poetry Jam:


Please, please post the poems from today's show on your blog, if you can transcribe them. At least Cinnamon Stick's, I wish I could've seen that dude.

I would've voted for Cinnamon personally, but Norm is quite the poet.

Thanks for reading!

Adam Boedeker

Here you go, Adam. (Thanks to Justin the Intern for the transcription):

Rum - by Cinnamon Sticks
Caught in the punch in the trap
Fighting the cheese to adapt
Looking through the hole of the trapped
Hearing the cheese
Oh please Louis
Show me the cheese
Feeling punchy
Feeling the punch
Munching punch
Judy and Punch
Love the trap
The trap
The darn cheese, seeping, hearing
Oh please Judy dont be dirty
Excuse the cheese for biting hole trap
Oh please Louis adapt
Im seeing the hole but im trapped

Well done.


Anonymous said...

As a Cowboys fan, I hate T.O. during the game, but I have to love him for everything he is doing for Philly right now.

Also if TO wants out so bad and Jevon Walker wants a new deal, maybe the Packers and Eagles could swap disgruntled Wideouts. Wouldn't that be great Bob!

Funny Guy said...

Watching Mr. Miyagi ask Arnold if he's ever "jerked off with a belt around your neck?" is transcendent.

Genius (as is everything on Entourage).

Let's hug it out, bitch!

Jay Mohr said...

What a homo!

Chris said...

Did anyone else notice how much weight Gabe has lost on the Rangers broadcast??? it is now confirmed, he did the roids, and now he is off.

Sorry BAD radio, stop covering for your buddy now...

Brandon said...


I really don't know if he used 'roids or not. But to be honest, you don't know either. You say his weight loss is proof that he was on roids.

If so, care to explain how he was able to make such a strong throw in the 8th inning of last night's game on the play where Dellucci tagged up at 2nd and went to third?

Anonymous said...

"...give me a lighter, old man, or I'll tell my father you touched my knee..."

Chris said...

Brandon, I am just using the same arguement as the rest of the Ticket staff, that if a guy looks skinnier, then he is off the roids now....

meredith said...

You've got the wrong off-season. Gabe lost a bit of weight two off-seasons ago, after realizing he was TOO big and it was causing him health trouble, as well as weighing him down.

Joe Jenkins said...

If Raffy is any indicator, Gabe's body is not nearly dad-like enough to be tainted by steroids.

meredith said...

The Eagles will not win the Super Bowl with Cancer playing Wide Receiver

You know, Bob, you got lucky with this one. They had a legit shot last year and they either blew it weren't nearly good enough, depending on who you ask. But either way, TO had nothing to do with that. Hell, he's the sole reason they were in the game at the half.

Anonymous said...

Wow, T.O. was electric on ESPN tonight. This whole situation just gets more delicious by the day. It will be a lot of fun watching this saga play itself out..

Sturminator said...

C'mon, Meredith. Lucky is winning the lottery or getting a job to host a talk show at the Ticket. Lucky is not predicting Dallas will be hot tomorrow or that water is wet. That wasn't luck, that was paying attention.



Anonymous said...

Jay Mohr is just filling in for the regular guy this month, although he is genius and needs a regular gig.

Yours in Christ,


meredith said...

So, they lost to New England last year because TO has a bad attitude?

dave said...

I'm gonna have to side with Mer on this one. Either way you look at it, TO played an integral role in the improvement of the Eagles last season.