Circling the Drain

Cue REM’s Everybody Hurts…

NBA Basketball is the great deceiver. You have your self convinced that you can “play with these guys”. But, alas…don’t be fooled. The worst team in the league can “play with” the best team for 40 or 45 minutes. But when it is time to play “win”, that is when the good separate from the great.

So is the case with our little Mavericks.

Moral victories? That is another way of saying you can “play with” these teams until they find that next gear in the final few minutes.

Last night, in another gutting loss – this time to Boston – Jerry Stackhouse made a 3 point basket from well behind the arc as the shot clock was ticking down to give the Mavericks an 84-83 lead with 5:08 left in the game.

It would be the last field goal they would score until Erick Dampier’s put back with :09 left.

Between, I counted numerous chances to get hoops in the half court. Here is how the game was lost in 10 trips down the floor:

Mavs Possessions in Final minutes

4:10 Pierce Steals from Dirk on Double Team
3:50 Garnett steps in front of Dirk Pass to Stackhouse
3:45 Howard fouled, free throws
3:08 Kidd feeds Dampier, Dampier fouled, free throws
2:40 Kidd drives lane, is rejected on lay-up
2:15 Dirk dives to save errant Kidd Pass, Garnett steals
1:54 Dirk fouled, free throws
1:18 Dirk 18 footer missed
:42 Kidd misses a 3 pointer
:22 Dirk drives and misses
:09 Dampier rebounds Dirk Miss and BASKET!

10 trips without a hoop. Ballgame. Game over. And Confidence Shot again.

The bottom line is this: Against elite competition, this team cannot get a basket at crunch time when it needs it. Not often enough. Not enough to outlast and outplay their opponent to the finish line. And that is all playoff basketball is about. Feel free to make plans for May. You won't need it for the Mavericks, I don't believe.

It is What it is …

It is what it is.

That's one of the most popular sayings in the NBA this season, and a variation of it absolutely fits the Mavericks during this most disappointing stretch of the season.
They are what they are.

Call it mediocre. Call it not-ready-for-prime-time. Call it good but not great.
Whatever it is, the Mavericks have proved to be a notch or two – or maybe more – below the elite teams in the league.

They were bounced, 94-90, by the Boston Celtics on Thursday night at American Airlines Center as the threesome of Ray Allen, Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce was just a little better than Dirk Nowitzki, Josh Howard and Jerry Stackhouse.

At least the Mavericks should be able to face themselves in the mirror today. Their effort was supreme. Unfortunately, it yielded the same result as a lousy output of energy against the Los Angeles Lakers two nights earlier.

"Until we ultimately hold it [a trophy] up, there's always going to be questions about us," Stackhouse said, accurately summing up frustrations in the locker room and among fans. "We got some work to do to be in the field, quite frankly. It's not a given. We got a talented team, but at some point, we got to take a stand in the sand."

The Mavericks lost their second in a row at home for the first time this season. They fell to 0-7 against winning teams since the Jason Kidd trade.

Allen knocked in a 3-pointer with 31.7 seconds left to put the Celtics up, 90-88, and James Posey and Garnett each hit two free throws in the final 15 seconds to secure the win.

Nowitzki missed a drive with 21.9 seconds to go, with Sam Cassell rebounding, to douse the Mavericks' hopes. They had led by seven points – the biggest lead for either side – early in the fourth quarter but could not hold on.

The Celtics became the first team to sweep a three-game, uninterrupted trip to Texas since Sacramento did it in 2001. They completed the perfect triangle by overcoming the fourth-quarter deficit and applying salty defense on the Mavericks, who got heroic efforts from several players, notably Nowitzki, but not enough clutch play at the end.

The Celtics swept the season series from the Mavericks for the first time since 1993-94.

"I loved our effort," coach Avery Johnson said. "We're close. We're just not being rewarded. We're getting closer. We just have to stay positive.

"I've never really been one to panic, but I understand the urgency. Right now, it's just a game of inches."

Star Telegram ..

On paper, the Mavericks won nearly every critical category - shooting percentage, rebounds, points in the paint, second-chance points, fast-break points - but their pained faces and slow gait when all was over told a different story on the scoreboard.

The Boston Celtics, trailing by seven early in the fourth quarter and by one with 1:54 to go, scored seven of the game's final nine points and sent the Mavs to yet another agonizing defeat, 94-90, in front of a sellout crowd that was poised to blow the lid off American Airlines Center.

Instead, Jason Kidd, who made one field goal on eight shots, missed a 3-pointer with 39.9 seconds left that would have put the Mavs up by four. And Dirk Nowitzki, who played another stellar game with 22 points and 19 rebounds, was left to ponder two driving layups that wouldn't drop in the final 22 seconds after Celtics sharpshooter Ray Allen had drained the go-ahead 3-pointer.

"We were right there again," said Nowitzki, who had three turnovers in the final quarter. "I got some good looks in the fourth quarter that I've got to make. It was a disappointing fourth quarter for me."

And so for a seventh consecutive game against a winning ballclub since Kidd's arrival, the Mavs (44-25) came up empty. Meanwhile the NBA-leading Celtics (55-13) completed a sweep of the Texas trio.

The Mavs now have the same number of losses as eighth seed Golden State, but with two more wins, and they fell 161/27 games behind Sunday's opponent, the Spurs, for third in the Southwest Division.

Unlike Tuesday's abysmal start against the Lakers that had the Mavs down by 25 in the third quarter, the Mavs came out gunning in this one. They scored 29 first-quarter points on the league's best defense.

Meet the Newest Cowboy …Pac Man…

Although the Dallas Cowboys can’t comment publicly about their interest in acquiring suspended Titans defensive back Adam “Pacman” Jones, it appears they are seriously considering the idea.

NFL sources said the Cowboys are looking into the possibility of trading for Jones, but that the discussions are moving at a slow pace. The third-year cornerback missed all of last season after he was suspended by the league for multiple off-the-field incidents.

Jones has yet to be reinstated but that wouldn’t prevent the Titans from trading him to another team. A suspended player can be traded but he would not be eligible to play until the suspension is lifted.

League spokesman Greg Aiello said in an e-mail Thursday, “[Jones] has been told that there will be a decision on his status for the 2008 [season] at some point prior to the opening of training camps. The commissioner will review all relevant facts, including his conduct over the past year, and make a decision.”

The Titans would probably prefer to trade Jones before the NFL Draft when he would command more in return.

NFL sources said the Cowboys could potentially offer a second-day draft pick, probably as high as a fourth-rounder, to obtain Jones. Last season the Patriots traded a fourth-round pick to Oakland in return for receiver Randy Moss.

Packers fans may be annoyed by this, or love it …

Warning: I am not sure you should watch this. But, Here is the video from Dan’s BaD Radio Report from yesterday …

And another place for the same video …

Fake Nick Cage in Real Madrid fools the team



Marathon Layout

I Am Happy!

Name that Team

Quick Pop Quiz:

Name that Team

1) They are sliding late after a promising start of the season.

2) They just made a huge trade that looked great, but now is causing all sorts of growing pains.

3) Their Coach is in danger of being fired if this doesn't turn around.

4) Their Players are accused by some of not having the guts to win when it matters.

5) Their Playoff reputation is what keeps anyone from buying into them.

6) They just got beat at home by a team from Southern California.

7) They play their home games at the American Airlines Center.

8) They frustrate the heck out of me.

9) You would be foolish to bet on them advancing past round 1 this year

10) They might need another drastic overhaul when this season is over.

Answer:

If you named either the Stars or the Mavericks, you win. If you are dumb enough to love them both, you have come to the right blog. Me, too.

I have a busy morning, and hope to blog more later, but consider this after the Stars disappoint on home ice last night in a 2-1 loss to the Ducks that will likely cost them home ice in the first round against the defending Cup Champions:

NHL Standings March 1, 2008
Dallas 87 points
Anaheim 81 points
San Jose 78 points

NHL Standings this morning
San Jose 97 points
Anaheim 92 points
Dallas 89 points

OUCH! Why must your torture us Mavs and Stars? Have you no mercy? Don't you realize we have Rangers season ahead?

Alas, the Mavs turn tonight, with Boston in.

Hit the restart button on your sports mood.

Test Failed

My frustrations are many with this team.

I wish they were just flat out horrible. Then, they would not continue to suck me in with hopes of NBA glory. But, no. This team is good enough to rally back from 25 points down in a furious show of guts, heart, and will. But, of course, you are then forced to wonder how a team with guts, heart, and will falls behind in a tell-tale game in the first place! But, as soon as they rally, they also blow their execution and fall just short with another gritty, gutty loss to zap the life force of the people that invest their heart in the team.

You will have to forgive me for not being real familiar with Ronny Turiaf. Heck, even Vladimir Radmanovic is not a guy who I swear I can read like a book. But, then again, I don’t play for the Mavericks. How the heck are the Mavericks confused about how to defend these guys?

Oh, and when it is time to inbounds a crucial pass, do you think you would want a decent passer to do the said inbounding? No? Well, then Josh Howard’s absurd pass to the back of Dirk’s ankles must have been just what was drawn up. Were you hoping to free Jason Kidd up for another 3? Seems like Kidd’s only role in that situation would be to inbound the ball.

In summary, this team still has not beaten an above .500 team since the Jason Kidd trade. And since I mentioned Kidd, could we point out that he had 1 point, 3 rebounds, and 7 assists in a critical contest? Is there still talk of him being Dirk’s equal for leading this team? I guess I expected his stamp on the game in much bigger ways. I also expect that Mark Cuban feels the same way.

Loss asks more questions of the Mavericks …

To be taken seriously in the NBA, one of the rules is you have to beat the occasional contender.

Right now, the only thing serious about the Mavericks is their condition, which is in danger of being downgraded to critical.

They were on their way toward perhaps the ugliest night in American Airlines Center history. That they saved face in the second half was fine. But they couldn't save a game that truthfully was lost before halftime.

The Mavericks fell behind by 25 points, made a spirited rally, then couldn't close the deal, dropping a 102-100 decision to the Lakers on Tuesday evening in front of a sellout crowd that booed loud and long, but was poised for unbridled passion during the comeback.

They left unfulfilled.

Dirk Nowitzki had a chance to tie or win in the final four seconds. After Derek Fisher hit the second of two free throws for a two-point LA lead, the Mavericks got the ball to Nowitzki, who had a huge night with 35 points and 11 rebounds.

But Josh Howard's poor pass went near Nowitzki's ankles, and the forward had to gather himself and fire an off-balance 3-pointer that missed badly at the buzzer.

With that, the Mavs' five-game winning streak against flimsy competition ended. They haven't beaten a team over .500 since the All-Star break (0-6). They have only one such win (over Portland at AAC) since Feb. 4 at Orlando.

No wonder they were booed off the court after a 9-0 LA finish to the first half that put the Lakers ahead, 59-38.

"The fans were booing a little there in the first half," Nowitzki said. "It wasn't pretty there.

"When we showed some energy and some heart, they came alive and pushed us."
By then, it was too late. The Mavericks missed a chance to make any sort of statement against one of the teams ahead of them in the compact Western Conference playoff picture.

"It's not the time now to hang our heads," Nowitzki said. "You got to keep fighting and keep swinging."

Dallas did neither for 2 ½ quarters against the Lakers. Not surprisingly, Kobe Bryant put his unmistakable stamp on the game.

In an epic move, Bryant finished a third-quarter fast break with a whirling, over-the-shoulder shot that somehow found the basket and put the Mavs in a 76-51 hole.

By then, the Mavericks didn't look like the team that couldn't wait to get one of the West's big boys in their crosshairs. When they finally did, not only could they not pull the trigger, they couldn't even find their gun.

"They played early like their basketball lives depended on it," coach Avery Johnson said of the Lakers. "And we didn't. We played like we were in apologetic mode, like we shouldn't even be here."

The comeback was highlighted with a pair of Nowitzki 3-pointers, the second of which came with 41.3 seconds left and cut LA's lead to 98-97. Dallas had trailed by seven with 70 seconds to go.

The View from Los Angeles …

Depending on the chat room of choice, the banter around the office, or even the perspective from the local coffeehouse barista, the Lakers were supposed to return from their rapidly disintegrating trip anywhere from fifth to seventh in the Western Conference.

Instead, they're back in a tie for first after an engaging 102-100 victory Tuesday over the Dallas Mavericks, a sturdy defensive effort in the early going followed by a hang-on-at-all-costs ending.

Kobe Bryant limped mildly and smiled broadly, Vladimir Radmanovic cracked one-liners, and the Lakers ended a losing streak at an opportune time after twice disobeying the "can't-lose" credo in the West.

"We had to stop the bleeding," Bryant said.

They did, in many ways, individually and as a team at American Airlines Center.

Bryant was granted a mulligan for his 11-for-33 debacle against Houston, following it with 29 points on more concise 12-for-23 shooting. Apparently, his late-night shooting expedition a few hours after losing to the Rockets paid off.

Lamar Odom matched up his 17 points with 17 rebounds, and Radmanovic tied a season high with 21 points.

The Lakers (46-21) also moved into a tie with Houston (46-21) after the Rockets' 22-game winning streak ended an hour later against Boston. The Lakers' four-game trip ends Thursday in Utah.

On the day Phil Jackson said the Lakers were merely "still hopeful" that Andrew Bynum would return in time for the start of the playoffs, the Lakers proved they could win without Bynum and Pau Gasol.

They also improved to 2-1 against the Mavericks (44-24) this season, with one game left against them next month at Staples Center.

Meanwhile, Stars and Ducks ready for battle tonight …

The great thing about tonight's battle between the Stars and the Anaheim Ducks is that it is a playoff primer in many ways.

One, the teams should be fighting at their most intense as they jockey for playoff positioning and potential home ice in the first round of the postseason. Anaheim (90 points) and Dallas (89) sit fourth and fifth, respectively, in the West. If the Ducks and Stars finish the regular season in those spots, they would meet in a first-round series with the Ducks enjoying home-ice advantage.

Two, the Stars have had a 5-1-0 run against the Ducks this season. That should create some bad blood between the teams.

And three, linemates Brenden Morrow and Mike Ribeiro are going to get to see just what it's like to face an inspired Ducks team bent on shutting them down.

Ribeiro and Morrow have combined for 15 points in six games against Anaheim, and their line is plus-6. They have scored on the power play and at even strength, and they have sent a clear message to the Ducks that they are a top line in the NHL.

"It's definitely going to get tougher because you are going to draw attention," Morrow said Tuesday. "But I think that's just part of the game. We're doing a lot of right things, and I think we need to continue to do that. But as much as that's important, this is a new game. This is a playoff-type situation; it could be a preview of that first round, and we need to step it up and respond."

The Stanley Cup champion Ducks are saying the same things. Anaheim's best defenders have dialed up their performances in recent games, and they will be tested against a Stars team that has added Brad Richards since they last met Feb. 15.

Of course, the Stars have seen a Ducks team that has been trying to blend in defensemen Scott Niedermayer and winger Teemu Selanne – and both are now fully integrated. That said, Anaheim is without suspended defenseman Chris Pronger (who is out eight games after stepping on Vancouver's Ryan Kesler), and the Stars are still missing injured blueliners Sergei Zubov (foot) and Philippe Boucher (shoulder).

But the focus tonight won't be on players not in the lineup. It will be on ones who could be part of a vicious battle. Ribeiro said he understands the pressure that comes with being a targeted player.

"I know it's going to be tougher and that I have to be tougher," said Ribeiro, who has a goal and two assists in Dallas' recent 1-5-0 slump. "That's the same for everyone, but it's important for me because I need to be better."

Part of Ribeiro's challenge is finding new ways to create scoring chances. The 28-year-old center played much of his career in the Eastern Conference with the Montreal Canadiens. So Western teams weren't as familiar with Ribeiro, who brought some fresh moves to the Stars early in the season that helped push him to 27 goals and 77 points (11th in the league in points). But teams are starting to pick up on those moves.

And, I am not saying this was my idea 2 weeks ago, but this was my idea 2 weeks ago ….

The assimilation of Richards, who was acquired from Tampa Bay on Feb. 26, has been an issue. Tippett has tried the versatile forward at center on several lines and as a right wing with Mike Modano. But the coach said after a 4-3 loss to Vancouver on Saturday that Richards will stay at center.

"We like him as a center, and we like Mike [Modano] as a center, and that's the way we'll go forward," Tippett said.

Mike Ribeiro is expected to center a line with Brenden Morrow, Richards will center a line with Jere Lehtinen, and Modano will probably center a line with Steve Ott, who has one game remaining on a three-game suspension. The other parts will mix in, Tippett said.

Season Preview for FC Dallas …

1. Can a tried-and-true 4-4-2 guy adjust to a fancier formation?

It seems that coach Steve Morrow, schooled at Arsenal, would be hard-wired into a four-man back line. But Morrow says the Gunners actually used a 3-5-2 a couple of years while he was there, so he's quite comfortable with and committed to playing three across the back. He says it best fits Dallas' personnel.

So the 4-4-2 is out for now. Instead, he wants the team familiar with a 3-4-1-2 or a 3-4-3 setup. It's all about getting the best from Juan Toja, Kenny Cooper and Arturo Alvarez. When Toja's available, they'll deploy him at the top of the midfield triangle in a 3-4-1-2, exploiting his long legs to go at guys from the center of the park.

If Toja's not available or if they need something different, they'll use three forwards in front of four defensive-minded midfielders. (And speaking of Toja, here's the answer to the more compelling question as it concerns Dallas' second-year workhorse: Yes, he's still rockin' the mullet.)

The other key in this formation tweak is subtracting some responsibility from Alvarez; they want him free to improvise in the attack.

2. Can Kenny Cooper lead the scoring parade?

The local product seems to have recovered nicely from last year's broken leg. Morrow says the big striker looks fit and focused, and he is confident that Cooper's drive for contract renegotiation (with two option years remaining) will stay on low boil and won't dent that reliable attitude and work ethic.

That said, it's all about production when you are the go-to striker. Without Ruiz around, Cooper no longer must play a subjugated role. Now he's the primary target, with Toja and
Alvarez set to work off his ability to collect, hold and distribute, and otherwise bother defenses.

Cooper's heart has never been questioned, but he sometimes struggles to work within a team framework. A target of 8-10 goals seems worthy.

3. Can new leaders stand up?

This question continues to dog FCD, which can't seem to get it sorted out. This was a team, after all, that made the mercurial Ruiz its captain a year ago. And "mercurial" is never a word you want associated with your captaincy. Morrow feels sure that Davino, Adrian Serioux and Drew Moor can act as shepherds. But Davino's English is limited, injuries have limited Serioux's participation over the last 12 months or so and Moor, who is developing nicely, simply hasn't assumed that role before. That's not to say that real leaders, guys who truly command respect, police the locker room and keep the team on course, can't come forward. But until it happens, the question stands.

4. Is the defense better?

Half the starters are gone from a Red Stripes back line that allowed 44 goals last year, third-worst among eight playoff teams. Chris Gbandi took an offer in Norway and Clarence Goodson was left exposed in the expansion draft -- then took an offer from Norway. This year it looks like Davino will man a free role behind center backs Moor and Serioux, with Alex Yi and Aaron Pitchkolan in reserve.
The selections in the wide spots seem to be about protecting the back line. At present, David Wagenfuhr, a defender by trade, and Dax McCarty, at his best as a defensive midfielder, appear to be the picks.

Other random links:

Costas versus the Bloggers …

Costas, speaking before he emceed (and donated $50,000) at Tuesday's Make-a-Wish sports auction at the Broward County Convention Center, doesn't understand what compels so many nonjournalist sports fans to seek a forum for their opinions.
Before the Internet, most fans were content talking about sports with their buddies. Now, in this interactive media age, many covet a wider audience, while often maintaining anonymity.

''Today, I saw on ESPN a poll about which Western Conference teams would not make the playoffs,'' Costas said. ``Well, 46 percent said the Denver Nuggets, which has zero percent influence on anything. No reasonable person who cares about the NBA should care about that. Who has the time or the inclination to do this, even if you're sitting on your computer? Why would you weigh in on it?''

Many newspapers (including The Miami Herald) allow readers to post comments, hoping to generate web hits and enlightened exchange of ideas.

''I understand with newspapers struggling and hoping to hold on to, or possibly expand their audiences, I understand why they do what they do,'' Costas said. 'But it's one thing if somebody just sets up a blog from their mother's basement in Albuquerque and they are who they are, and they're a pathetic get-a-life loser, but now that pathetic get-a-life loser can piggyback onto someone who actually has some level of professional accountability and they can be comment No. 17 on Dan Le Batard's column or Bernie Miklasz' column in St. Louis. That, in most cases, grants a forum to somebody who has no particular insight or responsibility. Most of it is a combination of ignorance or invective.''

What bothers Costas -- and he's not alone -- is Internet and talk radio commentary that ``confuses simple mean-spiritedness and stupidity with edginess. Just because I can call someone a name doesn't mean I'm insightful or tough and edgy. It means I'm an idiot.

``It's just a high-tech place for idiots to do what they used to do on bar stools or in school yards, if they were school yard bullies, or on men's room walls in gas stations. That doesn't mean that anyone with half a brain should respect it.''

Here is indirect international publicity for 1920’s reporter guy and his meeting with David Beckham From the Daily Telegraph …

Unless you go spectacularly off the rails like Britney Spears, celebrity is dealt an easier hand than in England. There are still paparazzi around the house but in more manageable quantities than in Madrid. Beckham has tasted a baseball game and once took his children out for a bike ride and wondered why the streets were deserted. It was the afternoon of the Super Bowl. Jet lag is fought off with sleeping tablets. His manners are still impeccable, even when asked by a radio reporter to 'list your favourite gin joints and speakeasies in Los Angeles'.

Cars of the Premiership …



Sweet Hats! …
Email:

Hey Bob,

My brother and I made a new vid, thought you'd like to check it out. Here's the link

Thanks,

Jonathan

Amazing Stuff I cannot do, that Jonathan and his brother can do



Good Lesson, Bad Bulge



Hurray! Hurray! April 10th is coming!

Mavericks to the Main Stage, Please

I am sure in a month I will try to convince you that this portion of the season didn’t matter, but I have had this week circled for quite some time as the Dallas Mavericks judgment week. I am very fired up for the Tuesday, Thursday, Sunday swing through the AAC of the Lakers, Celtics, and Spurs.

I do fear the possible reality that the Mavericks aren’t that great – say they lose 2out of 3, and are left in shambles a week from today. But, for now, I have prepared a brave face, and I am ready for battle. Let’s hope we will all be congratulating the Mavs on that Jason Kidd trade after this week.

Then, in a few weeks, we will say that none of this mattered, and now the real season starts.

Mission Impossible – Stop Kobe …

Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers visit tonight for the first of three home games against championship-caliber competition. The Mavericks have built a five-game winning streak, but it lacks teeth, having come against weak Eastern Conference teams.

"We haven't been the best road team this year," Jerry Stackhouse said. "But we've protected our home court."

By Sunday night – after Boston and San Antonio have followed the Lakers into American Airlines Center – the Mavericks will have either proved they are relevant in the West or shown they will spend the final weeks of the season fighting to stay in the playoff picture.

The line is that fine.

"This is going to be a very difficult week for us," center Erick Dampier said. "Not only for us, but for them coming in here. We've just got to go out and do the job."
The Mavericks are 1-1 against the Lakers this season, having beating them, 112-105, at AAC in January and losing an overtime thriller, 108-104, on March 2 in Los Angeles.

Jason Kidd had been with the Mavericks for only six games when Dallas lost to the Lakers. The Mavs feel considerably better about their chemistry now.

The Mavericks are in seventh place in the Western Conference, 2 ½ games behind first-place Houston. Three wins this week and Dallas could be as high as third.

Spurs Lose again …something seems very odd about them this season…

The Celtics first overcame a 22-point deficit in the third quarter, then dug out of a nine-point hole in the fourth, then survived a big shot attempt at the buzzer from a player known for sinking them — all to eke out a 93-91 victory over the Spurs.

Consider it another St. Patrick's Day miracle for the Celtics at the AT&T Center.

The loss ran the Spurs' losing streak to four games, their longest since the Lakers took four straight from them in the 2004 Western Conference semifinals. It is the Spurs' first four-game losing streak in the regular season since the 2000-01 campaign.

Even after giving away leads as if part of some St. Patrick's Day promotion, the Spurs (44-23) had a chance to win at the buzzer.

After Tony Parker made a layup to bring the Spurs within two with 4.9 seconds left, Bruce Bowen stole the ensuing inbounds pass. He hastily shipped the ball to Robert Horry, whose clutch-shooting exploits are legendary.

Horry's off-balance 3-point attempt bounded away, and the Spurs' skid continued.
"That would have been a great win," Spurs coach Gregg Popovich said. "But it turned out to be a tough loss."

The Spurs still had a timeout at the time of Bowen's steal, and could have used it to set up a play for two points.

Popovich said he would have preferred that somebody call one. Bowen said he didn't know the Spurs had one. Horry agreed with his head coach.

"I should have called one," he said.

In ending a 17-year drought in San Antonio last season, the Celtics were more lucky than good. This time, arriving with the best record in the NBA, they were both.
Paul Pierce, in what is becoming a St. Patrick's Day tradition, scored 22 points to singe the Spurs. Kevin Garnett, facing the Spurs for the first time in Celtics green, added 21.

Boston (53-13) played without the third part of its All-Star triumvirate — Ray Allen sat out his second consecutive game with a bruised heel.

Great Stuff Here: This Blog looks at the underwhelming results of all of the NBA trades …

How have teams that made a deal soon before or on the trading deadline been performing since that date? After all, one would think that a few teams would show instantaneous improvement after acquiring such good players for so little. It's only been about 10-12 games since the deadline, but that should be enough to show improvement, right?

Let's compare team records before and after the Trading Deadline of February 22nd. To adjust records for when the acquired players had actually arrived, I'll be using games from February 24th until today. I labeled the results as being mixed if the winning percentage before 2/24 was within 5% of the winning percentage after 2/24.

Lakers acquire Pau Gasol:

Memphis Grizzlies:
Record before February 24th: 14-41
Record on/after February 24th: 1-9
Improvement? NO

LA Lakers:
Record before February 24th: 38-17
Record on/after February 24th: 7-4
Improvement? MIXED (69% Win vs. 64% Win)

Heat acquire Shawn Marion, Suns acquire Shaquille O'Neal:

Miami Heat:
Record before February 24th: 9-45
Record on/after February 24th: 2-9
Improvement? MIXED (17% Win vs. 18% Win)

Phoenix Suns:
Record before February 24th: 38-17
Record on/after February 24th: 6-5
Improvement? NO

Nets acquire Devin Harris, Mavericks acquire Jason Kidd:

New Jersey Nets:
Record before February 24th: 25-31
Record on/after February 24th: 3-7
Improvement? NO (45% Win vs. 30% Win)

Dallas Mavericks:
Record before February 24th: 36-19
Record on/after February 24th: 8-4
Improvement? MIXED (65% Win vs. 67% Win)

Cavs acquire Ben Wallace from Bulls, Wally Szerbiak from Sonics, Bulls acquire Larry Hughes and Drew Gooden from Cavs:

Cleveland Cavaliers:
Record before February 24th: 31-24
Record on/after February 24th: 7-5
Improvement? MIXED (67% Win vs. 65% Win)

Chicago Bulls:
Record before February 24th: 22-32
Record on/after February 24th: 4-7
Improvement? MIXED (41% Win vs. 36% Win)

Seattle Supersonics:
Record before February 24th: 15-39
Record on/after February 24th: 1-12
Improvement? NO

Spurs acquire Kurt Thomas from Sonics:

San Antonio Spurs:
Record before February 24th: 37-17
Record on/after February 24th: 7-5
Improvement? NO

Seattle Supersonics:
Record before February 24th: 15-39
Record on/after February 24th: 1-12
Improvement? NO

The results? 5 teams showed mixed improvement since 2/24, and 5 teams showed a definite slump in record since 2/24. The best improvement in record was the 2% increase in winning percentage from the Dallas Mavericks. The results indicate that teams should be careful of expecting instant improvement from deadline deals, as it is clearly not happening. Even the Lakers, Spurs, and Mavericks, who were definitely perceived as having won their deals in the short-term, have not shown clear improvement. And in the ultra-competitive West, where seeding is everything, making any deal at all near the deadline may be a huge mistake. Those teams fighting for play-off seeding will now have to play excellent basketball over the remaining 15 games or so just to break even on the deal. Sure, trades may be worthwhile for play-off matchups; but trades hurt your seeding for those match-ups.

As I prepare in my own special way for the NCAA Tournament (which includes the courage NOT to fill out a bracket), I need to get my NBA Draft scout eyes on by Checking to see what Chad Ford thinks …

Last year, the best debate in sports centered on the NBA draft. Who do you take No. 1 -- Greg Oden or Kevin Durant? After more than a month of deliberation, the Blazers settled the debate by taking Oden with the top pick.

This year, there is far less to argue about.

Kansas State's Michael Beasley is having a freshman season that is even more impressive than Durant's freshman campaign. He's the country's leading rebounder and third-leading scorer.

Beasley is a coach's dream on the court. A 6-foot-10 power forward, he is a prolific scorer both inside and outside. He also has great athleticism, sick range on his jump shot, the power to bang in the paint, the speed to run the break, the nastiness to mix it up down low and the cockiness to think that he can deliver a victory for his team every night.

The other contenders for the No. 1 spot in the draft don't come close to Beasley's résumé. There are no 7-foot centers who play like Bill Russell. There are no other dominant college players rewriting the record books. There are no mysterious international players who can claim No. 1 status.

Beasley's closest competition is Memphis' Derrick Rose. Rose is an elite point guard prospect who has size, athleticism and leadership abilities, and he plays on one of the best teams in college basketball. But Rose's lacks a consistent jump shot, and that combined with the NBA's aversion to selecting players under 6-foot-6 as the top pick in the draft make him a hard sell over Beasley.

For better or for worse, this is the Michael Beasley draft.

However, it is still not a lock that he will be the No. 1 pick in June. Why? For the same reason we had Beasley ranked No. 2 in July. There are so many questions about his character swirling around that it will take some serious vetting before a team chooses him No. 1.

To his credit, Beasley has been on his best behavior at Kansas State. People say he has matured. He has avoided trouble. His coach, Frank Martin, sings his praises. He has been a committed teammate and player. And by almost all accounts, Beasley is a good kid who just hasn't always kept his nose clean.

But it is clear that NBA scouts and especially NBA executives are still wringing their hands a little. I can't go a day without a scout or executive telling a story that begins with, "Did you hear about the time Beasley … "

In other words, rightly or wrongly, they're worried. Derrick Coleman's name gets thrown out there from time to time. He too was an incredibly talented phenom. But he never seemed to care enough to be great.

And then here is the Top 20 from Ford for the NBA Draft:

1 Michael Beasley PF
6-10 235 19 Kansas State

2 Derrick Rose PG
6-3 205 19 Memphis

3 DeAndre Jordan C
7-0 255 20 Texas A&M

4 Brook Lopez C
7-0 260 19 Stanford

5 Jerryd Bayless PG
6-3 190 19 Arizona

6 O.J. Mayo SG
6-4 195 20 USC

7 Eric Gordon SG
6-4 215 19 Indiana

8 Anthony Randolph PF
6-11 220 18 LSU

9 Blake Griffin PF
6-10 245 19 Oklahoma

10 Danilo Gallinari SF
6-9 212 19 Italy

11 D.J. Augustin PG
6-0 180 20 Texas

12 Russell Westbrook PG
6-3 189 19 UCLA

13 Marreese Speights C
6-10 245 19 Florida

14 Chase Budinger SG
6-7 205 20 Arizona

15 Ty Lawson PG
5-11 195 20 North Carolina

16 Donte Greene SF
6-10 225 20 Syracuse

17 Darrell Arthur PF
6-10 225 20 Kansas

18 Kevin Love C
6-10 275 19 UCLA

19 Roy Hibbert C
7-2 275 21 Georgetown

20 J. J. Hickson PF
6-9 240 19 NC State

Top Hockey Fights of the Year …

Would you trust Lenny Dykstra with your money? …

Prince Lakers



Jerry Plays Ball – courtesy P1 Brad

St Patrick's Day Blogsphere

The only blog with the courage to post a Monday blog without any NCAA links. Make sure you send me your brackets, by the way. I am dying to know who you have coming out of the West….

Tiger steals the Show ….Again!

There have been five winning streaks of at least five tournaments in PGA Tour history. Woods owns three of them, with the others belonging to Hogan (6) and Byron Nelson, whose 11 in a row is considered among the most untouchable records in all of sports.

Woods won Bay Hill for the fifth time, becoming the first player in PGA Tour history to win at least five times in four different tournaments. The others are the Buick Invitational, Bridgestone Invitational and the CA Championship, where he plays next week at Doral as the three-time defending champion.

No wonder some are starting to question whether he will lose again.

Not since Bay Hill in 2001 against Phil Mickelson has Woods won a PGA Tour event with a birdie on the 72nd hole to win by a shot.

"I kept telling myself, 'I've done this before. I did it against Phil, and this time it's a little bit deeper into the green and the putt has a little bit more break and it has a little more grain. I've done it before, and I can do it again,' " Woods said.

And he did.

Palmer grinned and nodded, as if to tell those around him, "I told you so."

"He just said, 'It doesn't surprise me you made the putt,' " Woods said, who passed Palmer on the career victory list a month ago in Arizona. "Somehow you just get a food feeling. And he being a player knows better than anybody."

Hogan won 64 times over 21 years, the last victory coming at the 1959 Colonial National Invitational. The next target for Woods is Jack Nicklaus at 73, with Sam Snead's record of 82 victories looking closer each time Woods plays.

"It's pretty amazing to be in that kind of company," Woods said. "I've had an amazing run in my career, and hopefully, it continues."

No one can say these guys are laying down for Woods. He had to fight to the finish under a sweltering sun, and Bryant was visibly disappointed when he heard the roar and saw the putt. A victory would have sent him to the World Golf Championship next week, and earned him a spot in the Masters.

How about some baseball? Friday, the story emerged of Johan and the Rangers …

Several weeks before Johan Santana went to the Mets, the Texas Rangers came very close to making a blockbuster trade for the superstar pitcher, people familiar with those talks say.

The Rangers kept their intentions and progress remarkably quiet this winter, but sources indicate that they were actually the most aggressive early pursuer of Santana, who they viewed him as a rotation-transforming pitcher. Some are suggesting now that they believe the Rangers would have been willing to pay Santana as much or more than the $137.5 million, six-year contract -- or technically, $124 million, five-year extension -- he got from the Mets.

Texas once was the salary trendsetter, with Alex Rodriguez's $252-million deal in 2000, which was since topped by the Yankees' new $275-million deal for A-Rod. And apparently, the Rangers were willing to set the pitching market for Santana this winter.

But they never quite had that chance.

Indications are that Texas' trade discussions with the Twins progressed to the point
where there was either agreement or near agreement on the young players going back to Minnesota. At that point, executives involved in the talks believed that the trade was very likely to be consummated if only Santana gave a more enthusiastic response when Twins higher ups quizzed him about whether he'd accept a trade to the Rangers. However, a diplomatic Santana is believed to have told the Twins only that he'd "consider'' going to Texas, an answer that was seen as less than enthusiastic.
It was shortly after receiving Santana's lukewarm response that the Twins stopped pursuing the trade with Texas. People familiar with the talks say they believe Minnesota wanted to avoid agreeing to a trade proposal that could eventually be rejected by Santana, whose full no-trade clause put the power in his hands. Such a scenario could have hurt their leverage in future trade talks.

Word is, Santana actually thought about the Rangers long enough to have quizzed his long-time Twins teammate Torii Hunter, a free agent, about his own intentions. But it appears that when Hunter, a resident of Prosper, Texas, and close friend of Rangers manager Ron Washington, was noncommittal about whether he'd sign with the Rangers (he eventually signed with the Angels), Santana appears to have followed Hunter's lead.

Others suggest Santana liked the idea of going to the East Coast, anyway, and eventually the Twins did focus on three East Coast teams: the Yankees, Red Sox and Mets. Seattle also showed interest but Mariners people also had the impression Santana wanted to go east.

It isn't known which prospects the Rangers agreed to send to Minnesota, but Texas is well-stocked with young pitchers, leading with Eric Hurley and many others (plus, they had Edinson Volquez back then, before trading him to the Reds for talented center fielder Josh Hamilton); clearly, they had the chips to get the deal done.
Had Texas acquired both former Twins stars, as they hoped, the Rangers would have looked vastly different this year. But when they didn't get Santana and Hunter, instead of rushing into big-money deals for established but lesser pitchers, as they have done in the past, they wisely decided to play for their future.

The Tale of Josh Hamilton is getting out of control …

Josh Hamilton had just finished a particularly breathtaking round of batting practice at the Texas Rangers' spring training complex. Marlon Byrd stepped into the batting cage to take his final hacks of the day.

Hitting instructor Rudy Jaramillo, always supportive, offered up this advice for Byrd:

"Good luck following that, kid."

Yes, the legend is growing. What started with a few awe-inspiring rounds of batting practice has quickly become the biggest story in the Rangers' camp. Well, the biggest story that doesn't involve a pitcher, an ice pack and a strained muscle.

Hamilton went 1-for-2 with a pair of walks in Sunday's 9-7 loss to Oakland. A called third strike in his final at-bat of the game ended a streak of 13 consecutive times reaching base.

It also dropped his batting average to .600 for the spring. But since batting average has become a relatively insignificant statistic in the modern baseball world, consider Hamilton's on-base percentage (.647) or his on-base-plus-slugging average (1.747). It may be the best spring training by a Ranger, ever.

Or by any player. Anywhere.

"It's an absolute joke," Rangers starter Kevin Millwood said. "He doesn't swing at a single bad pitch, and he doesn't miss anything he swings at."

So why did the Reds trade him? Edinson …

For those of you wondering why the Reds were willing to trade Josh Hamilton for Edinson Volquez, the answer was on display at Ed Smith Stadium on Sunday afternoon.

"You just saw why we got him," Reds catcher Javier Valentin said. "He showed what people expect to see of him."

Matched against Philadelphia's Brett Myers and facing a lineup that included Jimmy Rollins, Chase Utley and Ryan Howard, Volquez pitched five scoreless innings.

The right-hander struck out six to boost his spring total to 19 -- more than any pitcher in the Grapefruit or Cactus Leagues through Sunday's early games. He's racked up that impressive total in just 13 innings. Volquez gave up just three hits, all singles, and lowered his ERA to 3.46. He has walked only three batters.

Spring Training results can be misleading, but there's no denying Volquez has a Major League repertoire.

Volquez got Rollins, the reigning National League Most Valuable Player, to chase a changeup for strike three in the first. Moments later he fanned Howard, the 2006 NL MVP, on another changeup.

"That changeup is his best pitch," Valentin said. "He had it today. He's got four pitches he can throw anytime [and] he's not afraid to use them."

Volquez is making a serious bid for a spot in the Reds rotation. If the 24-year-old Dominican can keep throwing his changeup, fastball, curveball and slider for strikes with this frequency, the Reds may have something special. And if Monday's scheduled starter, Johnny Cueto, keeps wowing scouts, Reds staff and everyone else, the Reds might be ready to make some noise in the NL Central.

Such notions are premature for now. Any Rangers fan will tell you Volquez has shown flashes of brilliance before, only to fall on hard times when control problems undermined his efforts.

The kid says this time is different.

"Not like this," he said when asked about those teasing performances in Texas. "I feel more comfortable now, [I'm] throwing more strikes. That's what I was looking for, throwing more strikes and being consistent in the zone."

There's one other difference, according to Volquez.

"I'm controlling my emotions, too," he said, then laughed, "I'm getting older, man!"

Mavs win without breaking a sweat …

It was a great day in Miami, hovering in the 80s.

That was the temperature, not the size of the Dallas Mavericks' lead, although it was difficult to tell the difference when they were done brutalizing the soft-shell Miami Heat, 98-73, on Sunday evening at American Airlines Arena.

This isn't your daddy's Heat. Or even Dwyane Wade's or Shawn Marion's – both are out with injuries. Even the NCAA would bypass the Heat at this point.

So the Mavericks did what they had to do. They rambled out to leads of 9-0 and 19-2 and never looked back. They completed a five-game trip through the Eastern Conference dregs with a spotless record, beating all five by at least 19 points and drumming up what confidence they can for more important matters this week.

They play the Los Angeles Lakers on Tuesday, Boston on Thursday and San Antonio on Saturday. It's an important stretch.

With their five-game winning streak, they are 21 games over .500 (44-23) for the first time this season. They remain in seventh place in the West, 2 ½ games behind first-place Houston. With three wins this week, it's not farfetched to think the Mavericks will rise in the West.

"They understand," Avery Johnson said of his players. "They know what's happening in the standings. They know who won last night and who lost. It's ignited them.

22 in a row in Houston …

A day like no other in the winning streak ended the way they all have — with the Rockets finding answers for whatever difficulties crossed their path.

From Alston's scoring a career-high 31 points to Shane Battier's blanketing Kobe Bryant down the stretch, the Rockets blew past the Los Angeles Lakers 104-92 before 18,409 at Toyota Center on Sunday to take sole possession of first place in the Western Conference with their 22nd consecutive win.

"That's the makeup of our team," Tracy McGrady said. "You never know who is going to come through for you.

"This was really all about how good the Rockets are. This is what this game was about, (with) the Lakers coming in here on the top of the Western Conference. This game determined where we are. I think we answered those questions. We took on that challenge, and we're standing alone. And the streak keeps going."

With McGrady struggling with his shot, going scoreless in the first half and making just four of 16 shots, the Rockets needed Alston's shooting. After making nine of 37 shots in the previous two games, he made 10 of 22, including a career-high eight 3-pointers in 11 attempts from beyond the arc.

"Man. Man, man, man. He was unbelievable," McGrady said. "I was in awe of his performance. This guy was doing some stuff that was just amazing, the way he was shooting the ball. It got to a point every shot he was going to put up seemed like it was going to go in."

Bobby Jackson, who had made six of 22 shots in his previous four games, made seven of nine en route to 19 points, his most in his 11 games since being acquired in the trade-deadline deal with the Hornets.

But while the guards offered unusual offensive support, the Rockets needed Battier's typical defensive performance every bit as much.

Bryant scored 24 points but made just 11 of 33 attempts. In the fourth quarter, when the Rockets rebuilt their lead to as much as 15, Bryant made just two of 10 shots.
33 straight

• 1971-72 L.A. Lakers
22 straight
• 2007-08 Houston Rockets
20 straight
• 1970-71 Milwaukee Bucks
19 straight
• 1999-2000 L.A. Lakers
18 straight
• 1969-70 N.Y. Knicks
• 1981-82 Boston Celtics
• 1995-96 Chicago Bulls

Troy Hambrick prepares for prison …

Once, the name Troy Hambrick was synonymous with athletic glory.

He and elder brother Darren Hambrick helped lead Pasco High School to the county's only state football championship in 1993. A year later, no one in Florida scored more touchdowns than Troy. He went on to carry the ball in college and then the pros.

Now the former NFL running back and Pasco County football great is in serious trouble. Troy Hambrick, 31, was indicted by a federal grand jury on charges he sold crack cocaine.

"You never wanna hear anything negative or bad about your former players," said his old Pasco High coach, Perry Brown. "Hopefully it's not true."

***

The indictment was returned on Dec. 6, according to federal records, and charged the younger Hambrick brother - a.k.a. Troy Grant - with three felony counts of selling, distributing or dispensing narcotics.

Federal authorities accused the Lacoochee father of selling the narcotic on three occasions: 5 or more grams Sept. 7; 50 grams or more Sept. 14 and Sept. 27.

If convicted, Troy Hambrick could face between five and 20 years in federal prison.
The alleged drug sales occurred just weeks before Hambrick began his football comeback.

He signed a free-agent contract Nov. 9 with the Utah Blaze of the Arena Football League. Training camp was set to begin Feb. 6.

But Hambrick was waived by the team late Wednesday, hours after a Times reporter called the league office seeking comment. A team spokeswoman would not comment on his situation.

Blake Hoffarber 2 days ago



Blake Hoffarber 2 years ago



And it has become tradition, so here it is…Mobile on St Patrick’s Day (5.5million views later)

Yes, My Skull is Bigger

Detroit Defeat

Well, I said yesterday on the show that it wasn’t about the final score, it was about looking at the teams and wondering if the Stars had what it took to play the Red Wings straight up.

Uh. Not great results again. Yes, a 3-1 lead late in the 2nd Period gave you the distinct impression that the worm had turned. And then, it did. The wrong way.

The Red Wings shifted to another gear. And the meltdowns started. A bad turnover. A bad effort from Turco on the opening goal of the 3rd. An inability to stop the bleeding. And another crushed effort in Detroit.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

By the way, I understand changing things around, but the Modano-Morrow-Richards line is a dumb idea. I hate breaking up 63-10, and I also hate the self inflicted idea of making yourself a 1 scoring line team.

Then, your checking line is 26-39-21 was not close to good enough to stop Detroit’s 13.

Put 10-63 back together. Put 91 with 15 and 20. And stick Modano with Ott and Lehtinen, and let’s play some stinking hockey.

Also, say a prayer that Zubov is back in the mix in time for the playoffs. Because the kids were exposed last night on many occasions.

The Stars look like the Stars have looked in their previous big games for quite a while. Not good enough.

Heika …

The house of horrors that is Joe Louis Arena continued for Marty Turco and the Stars on Thursday.

Turco allowed two goals in the first 1:01 of the third period, and the Dallas Stars blew a 3-1 lead and lost, 5-3, to the league-leading Red Wings.

It was a frustrating outcome for several reasons. One, the Stars have been outscored, 12-3, in the third periods of their last six games and have gone 2-4-0 in that span. Two, Dallas is in a slump and falling farther behind San Jose for the lead in the Pacific Division. And three, Turco fell to 2-10-5 against the Red Wings and is winless in Detroit at 0-7-2.

"It's more about the loss than anything else," Turco said. "We had the lead, and we didn't do the things we needed to do to keep it."

Turco had possibly the defining moment in the game when he allowed a 40-foot laser shot from Pavel Datsyuk to slip past him and tie the score at the :36 mark of the third period.

"It was not a good goal," Stars coach Dave Tippett said.

But Turco wasn't alone in his struggles. Niklas Hagman and Mark Fistric combined on a coverage mistake that allowed Datsyuk to walk in alone on Turco for a goal at the 16:17 mark of the second period. And the entire team participated in a chaotic mess that ended in Stephane Robidas flipping the puck into his own net for what turned out to be the game-winner at the 1:01 mark of the third period.

"That's not the way we want to play," Robidas said. "You can't afford to do that in the playoffs."

Tippett said the score "flattered" the Stars, and that they really weren't playing that well when they took a 3-1 lead on goals by Trevor Daley, Jere Lehtinen and Brenden Morrow. He said the top scoring line of Morrow-Mike Modano-Brad Richards had zero scoring chances at even strength and that the checking line of Loui Eriksson-Joel Lundqvist-Lehtinen was the team's best.

"There are puck battles that need to be won, and their top players beat our top players," Tippett said.

When asked if he was sick of losing in Detroit, Tippett responded, "Very sick of it."

"When you watch [Henrik] Zetterberg and Datsyuk go out there and dominate the game, that's frustrating," he added. "These guys are setting the bar for the Western Conference, so we better raise our bar. We better raise our bar, or we're in trouble."

The Stars (42-26-6) have used up the space they created with a 13-2-0 run last month and now are back in the thick of playoff positioning that could quickly move them to fifth place in the conference. What's more, they have nine games remaining in the regular season and appeared to fail a key test that had a playoff feel to it.

Jen goes crazy on the Stars …she can’t really be this ticked over a regular season game really? I often wonder if there is a bit of artificial rage in her bag…

Don't be too upset about the Dallas Stars' gutless-pig meltdown Thursday.

They aren't.

In fact, players seemed pretty OK with gagging away a huge victory against a really good Detroit Red Wings team. And nobody appeared too terribly worried about how
panicky and overmatched they looked doing it.

The Stars were busy talking about the good things they did in the first 40 minutes and how they just need to finish and ignoring the fact we have seen and heard this 1,000 times before.

Until they prove otherwise, this is the Stars.

They are the ones who too often fold their tent first when the game gets hard.
This is who they are. This is what they do.

NFL Mocks – Don Banks …

22 CB Mike Jenkins South Florida Sr. 6-0 200

The Cowboys haven't been much of a player this offseason, so the draft appears to be their personnel acquisition method of choice in 2008. Having lost a cornerback in Jacques Reeves to Houston, Dallas could use another pair of hands in the secondary. If receiver is the pick here, rather than at No. 28, which Dallas also owns, Cal speedster DeSean Jackson would get the nod.

28 RB Felix Jones Arkansas Jr. 6-0 205

In this mock, we don't have Dallas trading up with No. 7 New England for the right to land Razorback running back Darren McFadden, so we're back to giving Jones to the Cowboys with their second first-round selection. The backfield tandem of Marion Barber and Jones would make for a tantalizing combination of power and speed.

Sportsline’s 3 Mocks …

22 DAL Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, CB, Tenn. State DeSean Jackson, WR, CaliforniaDominique Rodgers-Cromartie, CB, Tenn. State
28 DAL Felix Jones, RB, Arkansas Felix Jones, RB, Arkansas Early Doucet, WR, LSU

Champions League Draw is not kind to Liverpool …

Arsenal have been drawn against Liverpool in the quarter-finals of the Champions League.

The Premier League giants will face each other three times in a week next month, with a top-flight match sandwiched between the two legs.

Manchester United will face Roma - who they have played in the competition already this season and knocked out a year ago - with the second leg at Old Trafford.

Chelsea have the most favourable draw of the English clubs with a trip to Istanbul to face tournament outsiders Fenerbahce, before a second leg at Stamford Bridge.

In the other last-eight tie, Barcelona take on Schalke.

Arsenal and Liverpool have never faced each other in European competition before, but the stage is set for a more familiar semi-final line-up.

Should the Merseyside club make it through to the last four - with the ties being played on April 22/23 and 29/30 - they would be likely to face Chelsea at that stage for the third time in four years.

Were Arsenal and the Blues to make it through, it would be a repeat of the quarter-final clash from 2003/04 when Chelsea prevailed.

If Manchester United see off Roma - who they thrashed 7-1 at Old Trafford in the last eight a year ago - they would take on the winner of Schalke versus Barcelona in the semi-finals.

Today was the first time four clubs from a single country have figured in the quarter-finals draw for the Champions League.
The final will take place in Moscow on May 21.

Gillett hates Hicks …

Liverpool co-owner George Gillett has finally broken his silence on his strained relationship with Tom Hicks.

Gillett has not made a public statement on the current takeover turmoil at the club since the controversial financial repackaging of the loans Hicks and Gillett took out to buy the club last year.

Gillett's son Foster - a board member - was withdrawn from the day-to-day operations at Anfield as Gillett prepared to sell his 50% stake to Dubai International Capital.

Gillett, who also owns the Montreal Canadiens ice hockey club, was speaking at a sports conference in California when - answering a question on whether he would remain a co-owner of Liverpool - he said: 'I would say, choose your partners wisely.'

That remark, in answer to a question from Abraham Madkour, editor of
a sports business journal in the US, explained much about the differences between Hicks and Gillett.

Gillett was appearing at the IMG world sports conference in California.
He also said: 'He (Tom Hicks) is a great guy - but he has just got a different perspective on the media.'

Hicks has this week been critical of DIC's use of the media to support their plans to buy out Gillett.

Dallas-based Hicks has criticised DIC's tactics and terminated talks with the Dubai-based sports empire on Monday.

For those like me, the story of Wikipedia …

The new headquarters of one of the world's most popular websites is 3,000 square feet of rented space furnished with desks and chairs bought on the cheap from EBay and Craigslist.

A sheet of printer paper taped to the door says the office belongs to the Wikimedia Foundation, the nonprofit that runs Wikipedia, the online almanac of anything and everything that users want to chronicle, from Thomas Aquinas to Zorba the Greek.

With about 300 million page views a day, the site by some estimates could be worth many hundreds of millions of dollars if it sold advertising space. It doesn't. Wikipedia's business plan is, basically, to hold out a tin cup whenever it runs low on funds, which is very often.

When it comes to money, "we are about as unsophisticated as we could possibly be," Executive Director Sue Gardner said as she swept up Styrofoam packing nuts in the office, the foundation's home since it relocated in January from St. Petersburg, Fla. "It's time for us to grow up a little bit."

Growing up can be hard to do.

Wikipedia, the "encyclopedia anyone can edit," is stuck in a weird Internet time warp, part grass-roots labor of love, part runaway success.

A global democracy beloved by high school term paper writers and run largely by volunteers, the site is controlled for now by people who seem to view revenue with suspicion and worry that too much money -- maybe even just a little money -- would defile and possibly ruin the biggest encyclopedia in the history of the written word.

"Imagine if the other top 10 websites in the world, like Yahoo or Google, tried to run their budgets by asking for donations from 14-year olds," said Chad Horohoe, a 19-year-old college student in Richmond, Va., who was until recently a Wikipedia site administrator, one of the 1,500 or so people authorized to delete pages or block users from making changes to articles. "It isn't sustainable."

Looking at it one way, it's cheap to run Wikipedia and the Wikimedia Foundation's other endeavors, which include an online compendium of quotations and a multilingual dictionary and thesaurus. The annual budget is $4.6 million, more than half of it dedicated to 300 computer servers and other equipment. On the other hand, the foundation has a tough time raising a few million dollars. The last fundraising campaign featured a video of co-founder Jimmy Wales literally wringing his hands in desperation.

The 45,000 or so individuals who contribute annually give an average of $33 each, so campaigns, which are conducted online, raise only about one-third of what's needed.

For the rest, foundation directors have to hit up outside donors, such as Stephen J. Luczo of Seagate Technology and U2's Bono.

Rangers Chatter back at it …

Beckham’s Blog on his coming to Dallas ….

He tells us:

"Hi everyone,

It’s great to be back in LA.

I really enjoyed the tour to Asia. It was a great chance for the team to bond and get our fitness levels up before the new season. It was also a chance for Ruud Gullit and the coaching staff to get some of their tactical ideas across and I think we played some great soccer.

We’ve now only one friendly left against FC Dallas until the new MLS season begins at the end of the month. Obviously, I didn’t get to play there last season, so I’m really looking forward to the match. Dallas has such a rich sporting history with the Cowboys of the NFL and the Mavericks in the NBA, so it’ll be great to go there and play their soccer team.

Anyway, that’s all for now.
Speak to you soon

David

Review of Lost …

Billy Crystal, Leadoff Man Video





Email:

Bob,

Over the last couple of weeks, I've read several pieces criticizing Dallas for trading Harris for Kidd. Each one described Devin in far more glowing terms than I had ever seen anyone - other than the pre-trade Cuban - apply to him before the trade. SI, for instance, called him a "blur" who was a tough cover for even the quickest Western Conference guards, while Bill "Do I really know anything about anything?" Simmons makes it sound like Dallas gave up a perennial All Star for a guy who couldn't start in the Keller rec league. Yet, before the trade, nobody - other than Cuban - ever thought of Harris as a top five, or even top ten, point guard in the Western Conference, let alone in the NBA. He's never even sniffed an All Star or All Defense selection, and every scribe, pre-trade, would have ranked him far behind Kidd as a player. So, why has he now been elevated to some kind of superstar diamond that Dallas gave up for some poo-poo? I think these writers just like to criticize.

Dave in Tulsa
---
Bob,

Love the work you do here for Dallas sports. I'm a recent graduate of SMU and I'm curious as to the impression you have of June Jones. I graduated in 06 so as you can imagine SMU football was not exactly the highlight of my time on the Hilltop. However, I've spoken with several younger alums who are now really excited to see what JJ can do for us. My question to you is A) Do you think SMU hired the right man for the job? B) As a Dallas sports fan are you now interested in at least attending an SMU game? and C) Your general impression of the man from talking to him.

Thanks alot Bob and keep up the great work!

P1 Kurt

---

Kurt, I think SMU absolutely hired the right man. I find him to be generating the most buzz of anyone I could imagine. I would very much like to see a game this year. I think he should have you very excited- Bob

More email:

The Smyth hit was far more critical and whoever slammed him into the turn buckle was not suspended. The Morrow hit was similar but he didn’t leave on a stretcher like Smyth. Get over that!

Ott left his feet.

I am an Avs fan and could care less about Jordan Leopold but if a player leaves his feet, out. When I was a Stars season ticket holder, I didn’t care for Ott but he was strictly a pest. Now he is that obnoxious player out to hurt. I only wish Scott Parker had played that game and shown him what a real beard is and kicked his runt arse.

As for Ruslan Salei, I was there when he slammed Modano many years ago and I can’t believe the Stars fans didn’t boo him at the Avs game this Sunday. I may not be a Stars fan anymore but I was very disappointed when the Avs picked up Salei and he got what he deserved in that fight. Bad karma will catch up with you at some point.

I love you guys but as an Avs fan you make me nuts.

Tara

I know you said a lot of interesting things, but I cannot get past you saying that you are an Avs fan who used to be a Stars fan. That is the craziest thing I have ever read I think. I may never understand the process of changing favorite teams in mid-life…Bob

Bruce Bowen – Knucklehead



Nolan Ryan on Soap

E-Mail Gone Wrong, Part 31

I am not perfect. I have many faults as a human. One, is my email addiction. I am constantly dealing with email. I obviously am not obligated to answer email, but I think it is good business to deal closely with the customer (you) whenever possible. Well, this, over the last decade has turned into a full-fledged addiction. I can’t stop it. I am hopelessly bound to my computer or phone or both.

Another fault I have is getting into email battles. Although I am often capable of a congenial conversation, and also am capable of ignoring most haters, sometimes I just can’t avoid it. Sometimes, I have to open my big mouth back. This seldom helps a situation. But, I still do it. Why? Because I am a flawed human being in many respects.

According to a brief search of my blog, most of my previous published email battles were in 2005.

This from NFL Draft Day in 2005 …

This from July 2005 …

And this from September 2005 …

There may be other email battles since then, but either I couldn’t find them or I never blogged them.

Anyway, in the olden days, I used to give out my opponent’s email address and full name, but I have softened my stance. I don’t wish to have anyone cause this person trouble. I just want to show you what I deal with. And why sometimes it would be better off to just delete the mail from the haters and move on…

For purposes of clarity, all of emailer Dan’s email is in Italics and all my email is in Bold:

Enjoy…if that is possible with this tired head idiocy:

3:06 PM Tuesday

Pac Man Jones is just another example of the despicable, ignorant black athlete that soils today's sports and society in general. It is a complete joke to listen to these ignorant people who barely seem human at times. Why this society continues to make excuses for them is unreal. When are we going to hold these animals accountable for their actions just like we do the white athletes? In instead of making excuses for them, why don't you two start telling the truth, quit beating around the bush and act like men for once in you dull existence. The double standard that prevails in this society just creates these imbecilic idiots and you both contribute to that double standard.

Dan

8:18 PM Tuesday

thanks for being mindful of our shortcomings, but I am fine with where I stand on this. I wish he handled himself better, but the honest reality is that one only needs to excel at their chosen profession to be successful. Otherwise, they can engage in any number of questionable activities and survive. Even racism!

Bob

8:07 AM Today

Maybe in your limited viewpoint, telling the truth is racism but intelligent people call it realism. If you think for one moment blacks in this country are not the root of most of the problems we have in this country then you are as dumb as naive as I think you are. How many white PacMan Jones are there? How many white Nate Newtons are there? How many white Michael Vicks are there? The list goes on and on and on. Everyday we have to pick the paper up or turn the television and read or hear another black athlete in trouble, either in the pros or college.

Because you come from lily white Wisconsin, I hardly consider you an expert on race relations. Open your eyes and see the world for what it is and not the limited viewpoint that your parents brainwashed you with. It starts with education Sturm and the blacks are either dumb as rocks or could care less about school or getting an education and it shows when they become adults. Why do blacks rank the lowest of all students coast to coast at any level of education Sturm? When you got black athletes scoring in single digits on I-Q tests such as the Wunderlick tests when my dog could score at least a 10, that tells you all one needs to know about the blacks in this country. It is called telling the truth Bob not hiding behind the term racism.

People like you are amazing, you would support the likes of a piece of scum like Pacman Jones playing for the Cowboys but I would wager you would not let the douche bag date your daughter? You truly are a hypocrite.

8:10 AM Today

really? so in your estimation playing for the Cowboys should be the same as dating your daughter? You are pretty sharp. Do you hold your musical artists to the same test? I am sure you do. I wouldn't let any Cowboy marry my daughter, I doubt. You go ahead.

Bob

9:27 AM Today

Did I say that? You apparently would let "anyone" play for the Cowboys no matter how despicable their past and probably their future are and will be. Do you really think scumbags like Michael Vick or PacMan Jones or the endless list of despicable black athletes going to change? The point was Bob and apparently it just flew past that intelligent level of yours was, apparently you have no problem in letting crap like that play for your team but at the same time would not let the same piece of vermin date your daughter. Most people would find that hypocritical. I for one and I would venture most white people would agree, they do not want the PacMan Jones of the world playing for their team. Take a poll, most whites still can't stand T.O.

Also, if you would not let a Tony Romo or a Jason Whitten marry your daughter, then you really have a problem. But then again considering your strange morals and values, that doesn't surprise me.

P.S.: I notice how you never address the intelligent levels of the whites versus the blacks. Gee, I wonder why.

9:31 AM Today

Do you remember typing this paragraph?

In a message dated 3/12/2008 9:27:52 A.M. Central Daylight Time, dan writes:
--People like you are amazing, you would support the likes of a piece of scum like Pacman Jones playing for the Cowboys but I would wager you would not let the douche bag date your daughter? You truly are a hypocrite.--

Because if so, why would you type this?

--Did I say that?--

As for your PS, I think it is absurd to address the intelligence levels of an entire ethnic group. That is called racism. I don't expect you would agree, since he who is guilty of racism seldom admits to it. I would also hope that people would not judge all white people on a chance meeting with you.

Bob

9:58 AM Today

You truly are one dumb idiot. Yes, I wrote it, did you read it? The point was dumb ass, you would let Pacman play for the Cowboys but you most likely would not let Pacman date your daughter. That makes you a hypocrite.

Why is it absurd to address the intelligent levels of each race. The intelligent level of each race is very apparent and contributes to likes of Pacmans and the Vicks, etc, etc, etc. Just because you point out a FACT about a race which paints them in an inferior light, that is not racism. The FACT is most blacks at every level of education, coast and coast, rank the lowest. This FACT is easily verifiable. I did not say that all blacks are not educated just the majority of them which is the truth. If one says the orientals are the most gifted and disciplined race of people intellectually, and they are, is that racism Bob? Your problem is that you have a very selective definition of racism. Education is the key for any person in this country to succeed. Apparently education is not an important element in most black households or the majority of them are dumb as rocks. It is either one or the other. Let's blame on their culture, okay hypocrite Bob.

P.S.: When every college in this country have lower academic entry standards for blacks then the standards for all other races, that tells one all they need to know about the differences between the races. But let me guess Bob, you don't think those lower academic entry standards for blacks are racist. You truly are a brainwashed, hypocritical, religious nut.

9:59 AM Today

sounds great.

Bob

10:10 AM Today

Your the selective racist Bob. What is wrong, can't stand the heat and answer the questions. Typical of a gutless person like you Bob. Much easier to just call someone a racist and run.

I would love to get your ass in the ring in the next Fight night out but just like answering the real questions, you don't have the guts. I will call the program director and leave my name and number and at least make the challenge. Please selective racist Bob, make my day.

Dan

10:13 AM Today

yes. A fist fight. That will settle things. Then maybe we can have a duel at the OK Corral. This is how the educated settle disagreements. Perhaps, a nice game of scrabble after that?

Don't forget your clean hood before you leave the house today, bro.

Bob

10:24 AM Today

Face it Bob, you are just a selective racist that can't answer the real questions when posed to you. Your a real big man, calling someone a racist and then not having the guts to answer the real questions when posed to you.

You might have a chance at scrabble considering the boring life you lead but you would have no chance in the ring. But then again, you don't have the guts to get in the ring, now do you selective racist Bob. Cat will have my telephone number if you ever grow a pair.

P.S.: How about those lower college academic entry standards for blacks. Not racist?

10:45 AM Today

Look: I am sure you are not that bad a guy. I have heard your opinion. Let's go on with our lives.

Good day.
Bob

11:57 AM Today

Typical response from a typical selective, gutless racist. In closing, I will give you a little helpful piece of advice which might help your warped, brainwashed mind. Racism is defined as condemning a total race of people based totally on the color of their skin without provocation or justification. I did not do that. I just pointed out that the vast majority of blacks in this country are inferior to any other race intellectually which is TOTALLY supported by the FACTS at every level of education in this country including colleges where they have to make allowances so that the blacks can get in. Lack of an I-Q leads to irresponsible, moronic actions that we see everyday primarily out of black athletes and others in this country. These are FACTS and I was not condemning them because of the color of their skin.

P.S.: I sure wish you would grow a pair and get into that ring. Alot of P-1's would love to see it. The offer is always open.


Good Times.

Very Good Times.

And, no, I don't know why I take the time to do that.

Let Me Explain...

Look, I feel like perhaps a few of you got me wrong here. Yes, I did say I wasn’t against the premise of Pac Man Jones in Dallas. Yes, I did say that if the right contract is out there, I would endorse bringing him in here. I don’t take those back.

But, based on some of the feedback, I feel like I should elaborate.

First, I never claimed to be the Cowboys moral compass. I have morphed into a realist from an idealist over the last decade, and I don’t fight as firm a fight as I once did about my effort to get the Vienna Boy’s Choir to play football for the Cowboys. The fact is that in the world of entertainment, you must make the choices on a case by case basis.

I realize that Jones is a knucklehead. I realize that he is not someone you would want on your team in normal situations. But, I am a big believer in the reforming of knuckleheads when they are clearly and simply reasoned with by someone taking away their earning power. Sitting out the entire season generally grabs any and all people with half a brain around the neck.

So, if Pac Man is reformed, you have a spectacular player at a discount.

And, if he is not, the NFL bans him again.

Either way, I don’t see a big down side in checking to see what the cost is. If it is a crazy contract, run the other way. But if you can trade for him with a 2nd day draft pick, and then pay him a reasonable deal that is based on his ability to behave, then I am fine with it. Just like Terrell Owens – who I also endorsed when most of the media was freaking out.

I hope that is not too disappointing.

Ott Suspended …In what seems like a harsh stance, Ott will miss 3 games for the below hit on Leopold…

Dallas Stars forward Steve Ott will receive a three-game suspension for his hit Sunday on Colorado defenseman Jordan Leopold, Stars co-GM Les Jackson confirmed Tuesday night.

Ott had a phone conference with NHL director of operations Colin Campbell on Tuesday, and Campbell is expected to announce the suspension today.

Campbell would only confirm the length of the suspension via e-mail. He did not elaborate on the hit or comment on whether he reviewed two separate incidents in which Colorado players injured Stars players Brenden Morrow and Mike Modano in Saturday's game in Denver.

Ott appeared to leave his feet to make a hit on Leopold against the boards in the Stars' offensive zone in the first period Sunday. Leopold left the game because of a head injury.

Ott was not penalized on the play, so his suspension could be for boarding, elbowing or charging.

Mavs with another glorified scrimmage tonight …

Antoine Wright's purest court instincts kicked in upon hearing his new coach's voice screech from across the court. Avery Johnson's arms flailed about like a drunken traffic cop, his elongated index fingers frantically pointing every which way.

"I quickly understood I was in the wrong spot," Wright said.

Welcome to Mavericks Newcomer's Week.

The favorable schedule that has included blowout wins over New Jersey and New York, and welcomes Charlotte tonight, Indiana on Friday and a trip to Miami on Sunday, is affording Johnson audition time on the fly for the other players involved in the Jason Kidd trade as well as their two free-agent signees.

As Wright and Malik Allen make progress and hefty center Jamaal Magloire works his way into shape, backup veteran point guard Tyronn Lue is expected to debut tonight.
"My role is very simple," said Lue, who won NBA titles in 2000 and 2001 with the Lakers. "I just want to come in, play 10 to 12 minutes, play hard, bring toughness and a defensive presence. And he'll [Kidd] take care of the rest."

Since the All-Star break, five Mavs have left and five new ones have arrived.

Celtics coach Doc Rivers, who coached Lue in Orlando, phoned Johnson when Lue signed to tell him he got a good one in the tenacious, undersized guard who's listed at 6-foot but probably isn't.

Johnson is relying on the eyeball test with Allen, a 6-foot-10 forward who has a smooth jumper but doesn't rebound well. Still, Johnson seems to be finding room for Allen on a squad lacking a ready backup center.

"Allen is looking like he can be our backup at one of the big positions on the front court," Johnson said. "He has a skill that you can use with his jump shot, and he knows where to be on defense."

Wright, Allen, Magloire and Lue are all in the final year of their contracts, so all are playing for the chance to make a run at a title and a new contract, either with the Mavs or another team.

Most intriguing for the Mavs' future is Wright, a 6-7, third-year swingman who was the catalyst in the first season of Texas A&M's amazing turnaround. The Nets' 15th overall pick in 2005, Wright played behind Vince Carter and Richard Jefferson.

The Mavs' season-long unsettled situation at shooting guard now employs Jerry Stackhouse as the starter. He's the third starter there in 11 games with Kidd.

Johnson has lacked a young, athletic shooting guard with good size and an appetite for defense. Wright, who will become a restricted free agent in the off-season, has potential, but Johnson said it's too early to tell.

"Antoine's a basketball player. He's still relatively young, but he knows how to operate out there on the floor," said Johnson, who not only didn't play Wright in seven of his first 11 games, he made him inactive in five. "He's very heady, good instincts. He has a subtle confidence where he really thinks he belongs in the league. And, he gets after it defensively."

Bill Simmons with more salt in the wound …

What if the Mavs had re-signed Steve Nash in 2005?

I defended Dallas for passing on Nash because (A) he hadn't looked good in the previous two playoffs and (B) $60 million seemed like an obscene amount of money for a 31-year-old point guard with serious back problems. What I didn't defend was Dallas subsequently using that money (and even a little more) to spend $73 million on Erick Dampier. If you're throwing money around, throw it at Nash over a dog like Dampier, right?

To make matters worse, the Mavs made a fatal mistake by underestimating the aforementioned rule changes that transformed Nash into the two-time MVP. Had they kept Nash and Antawn Jamison (sent to Washington for Jerry Stackhouse and the rights to Devin Harris) and still made the semi-brilliant Jason Terry trade, that's suddenly a monster roster: Nash, Nowitzki, Jamison, Terry, Josh Howard, DeSagana Diop, Veteran Free Agent X and February Buyout Guy X year after year after year -- as well as the league's single-most entertaining team.

(One other note: Looking back, it's fascinating Mark Cuban played the "fiscal responsibility" card as his reason for not re-signing Nash, then quickly overpaid for Dampier and started spending more recklessly than ever. Did you know, for the 2007-08 season, Dallas is the only team to spend more than $100 million on its payroll? Incredibly, the Mavs are checking in at $105 million this season, a good $17 million more than the second-place Knicks. I have a great deal of respect for Cuban as a businessman and a thinker, but other than passing on Nash, he has spent the decade making it rain like Pacman Jones -- only coming close to a title in 2006, when the Mavericks were robbed by some incredibly poor officiating -- and now he's stuck with a nine-figure payroll and a static roster that might be quitting on its coach as we speak. We're at the point when the Mavs might need to be reinvented. And soon.)

Peter King TMQB …on Aaron Rodgers future (which I am sure interests you greatly)…




Liverpool kills off Inter …4 English teams in the Final 8…

San Siro was deserted, blue and yellow ticker-tape strewn over its empty seats, save for 4,200 Liverpool supporters singing along with a Beatles number that blared from the loudspeakers and captured the occasion perfectly. "Get Back" they sang in unison with the city's other acclaimed export. Quite right, too. Rafael Benítez has taken Liverpool back to where they once belonged.

A third Champions League final in four seasons is on the horizon for the Spaniard as a relentless Liverpool, combined with a touch of excellence by Fernando Torres, made relatively light work of the supposed vengeful might of Internazionale. The clean sweep of four English clubs in the quarter-finals - a record for any nation in the competition - arrived with the cleanest of strikes from the formidable Spain international, and Liverpool march on as a team to be feared.

Roberto Mancini's men gave their all only for the wasteful front line of Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Julio Cruz together with the 50th-minute dismissal of Nicolás Burdisso to deflate their chances of becoming the first team in 16 years of the Champions League to overturn a 2-0 first-leg deficit. Mancini later announced he will be quitting the job this summer.

For 43 years Liverpool have cursed a referee for depriving them of glory against Inter and no doubt the Italian champions will return the compliment now that the 1965 European Cup semi-final has been avenged. Inter played 100 minutes of this 180-minute tie with 10 men, Burdisso repeating the mistakes of the man he had replaced from the first leg, the suspended Marco Materazzi, but blaming officialdom is a diversionary tactic without merit.

Liverpool were the more disciplined, clinical and, it needs saying, professional side over the two encounters. With Torres as their spearhead they also carry a far greater threat than any of the Anfield sides that reached the finals in 2005 and 2007, and following his 26th goal of an outstanding debut season at the club, Moscow does not appear out of reach come May.

This was not the show of defiance that protected a slender lead with a goalless draw at Juventus in the quarter-finals three years ago but an effort that fulfilled Steven Gerrard's pre-match promise to "attack and kill the tie". True, Inter had five glorious chances to have transformed the outcome but ultimately Liverpool's progress was a straightforward exercise.

Stuff White People Like looks at the Wire …

Though white people have a natural aversion to television, there are some exceptions. For white people to like a TV show it helps if it is: critically acclaimed, low-rated, shown on premium cable, and available as a DVD box set.

The latter is important so that white people can order it from Netflix and tell their friends “they are really into and I watched ten episodes in a row in the weekend. I’m almost caught up.”

If you attempt to talk about an episode they have not seen yet, they will scream and cover their ears. In white culture, giving away information about a film or TV series is considered as rude as spitting on your mothers grave. It is an unforgivable offense.

Recent series that have fallen into this category include The Sopranos, Six Feet Under, and most recently The Wire.

For the past three years, whenever you say “The Wire” white people are required to respond by saying “it’s the best show on television.” Try it the next time you see a white person! Though now they might say “it WAS the best show on television.”

So why do they love it so much? It all comes down to authenticity. A long time ago, someone started a rumor that when The Wire is on TV, actual police wires go quiet because all the dealers are watching the show. Though this is not true, it seems plausible enough to white people and has imbued the show with the needed authenticity to be deemed acceptable.

The popularity of this show among white people has create a unique opportunity for personal gain.

If you need to impress a white person, tell them you are from Baltimore. They will
immediately ask you about The Wire and how accurate it is. You should confirm that it is “like a documentary of the streets,” the white person will then slowly shake their head and say “man” or “wow.” You will be seen in an entirely new light.

If you are not from Baltimore but the white person you are talking to is, they might start asking you a lot of questions. In this situation, you should just say you left when you were young but you still have a lot of cousins there but you don’t like to go back to visit. This will remove all doubts and they can go back to telling you about how John from Accounting needs to “stop snitching” about their two hour lunch breaks.

Barkley (who is on our show today) tries to hold his breath



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