Friday, July 07, 2006

The Book is Out...Save the money.

I am currently 96 pages into the new book, T.O. written by T.O. and pretty much all about T.O. With all due respect to him and really almost every athlete that decides to write a first person book, these suck. There is nothing remotely interesting so far, save for his myopic viewpoint of everything, and his persecution complex. Of all my favorite sports books, I can't remember any of them being written by a player.

Having said all of that, I do laugh at the equally myopic media who declare that Owens will explode in Dallas because he did in Philadelphia and San Francisco. I often share with you my list of athletes who have come to Dallas and we are all warned of all of the trouble they were going to be:

Nick Van Exel. John Rocker. Hideki Irabu. Keyshawn Johnson. Claude Lemieux. Vernon Maxwell. Dennis Rodman. Carl Everett. Terry Glenn. Alonzo Spellman. Brett Hull. Ryan Leaf…

Aside from Rocker’s incident with the gay dude at Breadwinners, was there any incident from the whole bunch of them in Dallas?

Owens is a guy who might be different from that whole bunch, but I think the best comparison I have is when Dennis Rodman joined the Bulls in 1996. There was so much screaming and warning from the Chicago media that the Bulls will never overcome this! They were idiots to ignore what Rodman did at his other stops, and now they will rue the day that they allow this cancer into their organization.

3 rings later, the media shut up. We shall see what he does here, but I said it in March and I will say it again: he will be on his best behaviour here. I expect no incidents of team-splitting.

But the Philly media disagrees:

Phil Sheridan

The one constant throughout Owens' version of events, carefully phrased by the less-distinguished Rosenhaus brother, is that he is never to blame for anything. He has the mind-set of the average 4-year-old, before concepts such as right, wrong and personal accountability have had a chance to take root.

He signs a contract with the Eagles against the advice of the NFL Players Association, but that's not his fault. He continually agitates McNabb, just as he used to do with his San Francisco quarterbacks, but that's McNabb's fault. He has the ability to read McNabb's mind, assuming that McNabb is jealous of Owens' popularity. In his quest for more money, he criticizes McNabb's Super Bowl performance in the most cowardly fashion, then hides behind the fact he didn't use McNabb's name.

It goes on and on like that.

McNabb was wrong, coach Andy Reid was wrong, the 49ers were wrong, his former agent was wrong, Eagles president Joe Banner was wrong, the arbitrator who upheld his suspension was wrong - the world is wrong and Terrell Owens is right.

There's a name for that kind of logic: insanity. Unless you're a Galileo or Albert Einstein, and it's safe to say Owens is not.

For a lot of Eagles fans, a fresh round of Owens-related nonsense will be as welcome as another thunderstorm. He's gone. He signed with the dreaded Cowboys. Enough already.

Surely Owens' first priority is to sell books by creating a fresh round of controversy. His second, though, is to toss a big ol' stink bomb into the Eagles' camp. He's proven how much damage he can do to this team when he's here, so why not try a little long-distance sabotage?

But the joke ultimately will be on the Cowboys. Just as the Playboy interview should have sounded alarm bells here, the 242-page prepared statement should scare the hell out of the Cowboys.

The guy in that book, the human toxic-waste spill, is now in their locker room, fouling up their chemistry.

More Philly book reviews

His relationship with McNabb started turning sour in the game against Cleveland that first year. The Eagles had practiced "Z-dagger and go" all week, a play to maximize T.O.'s skills. Andy Reid called it, T.O. shed the defender and McNabb threw elsewhere.

T.O. remembers being "surprised and disappointed," but decided to stay silent, possibly because he had nine touchdowns after the first seven games. Before the Pittsburgh game, Owens says that one of the offensive coaches asked him to be very positive and supportive toward Donovan. Told him that "Donovan can get nervous and tight in big games."

"If things got rough and Donovan got into a funk, he wanted me to be there for Donovan and help him get through it."

Pittsburgh, that was the game the television cameras caught Owens screaming at McNabb on the sideline. Owens insists he was just shouting encouragement. And then, against the Giants, anger came rippling to the surface, and the split hit the fans.
On one play, Owens thought he was open and ignored. Stormed back to the huddle and squawked. Said, "I was open ... dude, you missed me."

McNabb, according to Owens, replied, "Shut the bleep up."

T.O. says that no quarterback has the right to treat a teammate like that. Says it was uncalled for. Waited for the clubhouse to empty after the game and then confronted McNabb. Says harsh words ensued. Says Dorsey Levens had to step between them. Says Donovan turned his back and walked away.

In other news, Why Daniels is gone

My job has begun, with the parade fiasco of last month. I promised a new mayor, and now look! Laura Miller is leaving office! …I take full responsibility for this announcement…

More Marriotti versus the White Sox …what a tool…

The Sun-Times sports columnist and regular on ESPN's "Around the Horn" went nose-to-nose Wednesday with White Sox broadcaster Hawk Harrelson in the the press box at the Metrodome in Minneapolis.

At one point, witnesses say, Mariotti told Harrelson: "I ought to clock you right now."

Harrelson's response: "Go ahead. Do what you've got to do, Jay."

The two have been feuding in print and on air since SoxFest, when Harrelson called Mariotti "the biggest sports fraud" and added: "Mariotti wouldn't know a good or bad team if he saw one . . . In six or seven years, I've never seen him in the clubhouse."

Days later Mariotti wrote: "Now that official team puppet Hawk Harrelson has targeted me as Osama Sox Laden--the one and only reason why the ballmall is obsolete, the fan base is shrinking and bad drunks rush the field and attack people--allow me to use my almighty powers in a more productive manner."

Since then, Mariotti has written about Harrelson four times, describing him as "[Chairman Jerry] Reinsdorf's shameless mouthpiece," "whiny . . . bitter" and sounding "like he's constipated."

Harrelson has struck back on his telecasts, most recently after Mariotti likened U.S. Cellular Field to a "state penitentiary" after describing a fight in the stands. But the two men didn't cross paths until about an hour before Wednesday's Sox-Twins game.

Harrelson was walking to the TV booth, taking the required route past the back row of the press box. There's not much room to maneuver, and Mariotti, talking on his cell phone to ESPN program director Len Weiner, was leaning back in his chair.

Harrelson said he "brushed" past the chair, unaware of who was sitting in it.

Mariotti said Harrelson "rammed into him," prompting Mariotti to tell him: "Watch where you're going."

The incident grew heated, with Harrelson and Mariotti yelling insults at each other.

Witnesses say Mariotti, after rising from his chair, came within three to four inches of Harrelson and said: "I ought to clock you right now."

After more name-calling, witnesses say Mariotti told Harrelson: "You want a lawsuit? I can make you a poor man."

Mariotti denied that he threatened to sue Harrelson.

Why the United States doesn't take to soccer ….

Here is today’s controversy on the show. Donovan showed me this dunk yesterday, check it out.

It is supposedly a 720 slam dunk by Taurian Fontenette AKA "Air Up There"…I don’t buy it. It looks so fake to me. As a fan of the dunk, if it was ever pulled off, I would be amazed and impressed, but I don’t believe this one…Discuss amongst yourselves…


Anonymous said...


suck it.


Chris said...


MrSimic said...

A quick google search for Taurian Fontenette shows him in his jersey with a Mountain Dew logo. Coincidence? No.

Ross said...

triple fake.

P1 in Indy said...

very very very fake

Mini Me said...

The dunk almost looks fake, but it is real right?

Robert Bentley said...

May I suggest Days of Grace by Arthur Ashe or, if you can find them, Go Up For Glory by Bill Russell or Giant Steps by Kareem.

The bad greatly outweighs the good on first-person sports books, but they're out there.

Shaun said...

Looks like a 360 maybe a 450 to me. He jumps up with his back to the basket and dunks facing just past 360. Maybe not fake but not a 720.

American football took 20+ years before it really took off. Soccer will find a niche and it will be bigger than hockey at some point. The league here is good, but it is really new at 10 years old. Just will take some time.

Chris said...

Billy Guerins Harley is on Ebay:

Just another example of the bad radio curse, and when Wilkerson is traded, it will confirm the curse once again.

mr. t said...

Hey Back-sliding Bob,

"With all due respect to him and really almost every athlete that decides to write a first person book, these suck."

I feel the same watching you play sports at Ticket events.

Not a 720. A 705 maybe.

Cory said...

Cool dunk, but it's not even close to a 720. It's somewhere between 1 and 1-1/2 turns. Regardless, my pick-up team could use him.

tut said...

"behaviour" Bob? You are American, right? I think you're reading too many World Cup Euro Trash rags.

Brandon at GSR said...

Your point is well taken, Bob, about professional athletes being on their best behavior here in Dallas.

But for the record, Rodman did blow up on Mark Cuban right before he was released in 2000.

Anonymous said...

Yup, it's real, just not a 720, not even close.

Still impressive.

cracker1743 said...

Harrelson's a tool, but I hope he punches out Mariotti. That guy makes Ozzie Guillen look like a sane, rational man. Remember, Mariotti is the same guy that trashed the Sox all last season before jumping on the bandwagon in September (Bob posted a link about it last fall).

Favorite athlete authors: Bouton, Ball Four. And back in the day, Uecker's Catcher in the Wry appealed to my junior high school sense of humor. Probably still does.

I don't see so well: is that Bill Shakespeare over there?

Anonymous said...

soccer=watching grass grow.
Comparing soccer to hockey is like comparing Shelly Duval to Jessica Simpson. Get real folks.

Anonymous said...

Jay Marriotti used to write for the Cincinnati Enquirer in the late 80's and then went to the Detroit Free Press (I believe). At each one of these stops and now in Chicago, his MO is to say the most off the wall, controversial things just to stir things up. Anything to get people to talk. Kinda like Mike Rheiner but even more a horses a** if you can believe that.

Rick Bentley said...

Dear Bob,
I know how you feel about athlete auto-biographies - I used to feel the same way: that is, until I checked out a little book from the library that changed my life. "Outrageous!," by Charles Barkley. Man, I really feel like I knew what it was like to dribble a basketball after I read that. Kudos, Sir Charles! You're literary prowess makes your basketball skills look like those of the 6th Man on the fourth runner-up in the Special Olympics. Read this book and I promise you this: YOU'RE LIFE AS YOU KNOW IT WILL CEASE TO BE! in the future you will look back on the existence that was your life and see two distinct periods: B.O. and A.O. (Before and After "Outrageous!").

sturrminator said...

rick bentley,

isn't it funny how i cannot be entertained by a famous athelete's book but i can watch soccer all day (a task only for someone with the mental capacity of a house cat)

hey now,

Jay Clendenin said...

dictionary word of the day:


Robert Bentley said...

I was considering making an Outrageous joke in my post this morning. It's sitting next to "Men at Work" by George Will on my shelf. Which is sitting next to my wife's copy of a DVD that is also called Men at Work.

Anonymous said...


How about 'George at Work'

Bentley = powerdown

Jay Clendenin said...

Italy v. France!!! let's go!!!

my Sports Indifference Pants are bulging.

Anonymous said...

of course it is NOT FAKE because it is NOT A 720 DUNK!!!! he's already turned a quarter turn BEFORE he starts his jump, he only does a 450 when the ball goes thru the hoop, and the last 180 is AFTER HE HAS DUNKED IT!!!! but who cares in THAT CROWD?!?!? no one. AMERICAN BASKETBALL IS DEVOLVING BY THE SECOND..........

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