Location: The Ballpark in Arlington
The Mix: “I can rock in shorts.” – Grubes
The Open: Bob and Dan have been replaced by Jake and TC. A buzz is in the air at The Ballpark in Arlington, tail-gaters have been out at the ballpark since the early morning. The Dallas Metroplex is the only city in America to crown a champion in its home stadium without one of the home teams winning in all 4 major sports. Donovan has a new Opening Day song that he is debuting today.
12:40 – Mavs/Lakers: The Lakers trounced the Mavs in LA last night in a game where 5 players were ejected once the game was decided. The Mavs don’t seem to match up against LA any better than they have in previous years. If Jason Terry is their second best option on the offensive end, you can’t have Roddy B or Barea out on the floor with him. No defense, whatsoever. Roddy B’s basketball IQ is extremely low and that does not bode well for the playoffs. The Mavs were fully aware of the levity of the game last night, yet they got outplayed.
12:55 – NBA Announcers: Dan noticed that the announcer on the TNT broadcast, Dick Stockton, has been on a downward spiral for the past 6 years. Someone needs to tell him to retire. He called Derek Fisher, Jeff Fisher, 3 times last night. “No foul, ball knocked away….and a foul is called.” – Dick Stockton. On the other side of that coin, Mike Breen is spot on but is extremely generic. There was an “aggressive” mishap by the one and only Reggie Miller. There was also one from the Woman’s Basketball Selection Show. “Aggresiidiv”. Things that sound dirty, from last night. “That’s what made Blake react and come right in his face”.
1:15 - The Steve Ott Show: Where to start, last night was one of the low points of the season. In a must win game, the Stars lost 6-0 to the San Jose Sharks. Coming off a pretty solid game in Phoenix, the Stars just got whipped and no one on the team played well. In March, except for last night, going into the 3rd period, the Stars have either been leading, tied or only down by one. Last night was an anomaly. Ott says that it felt like there was no room on the ice, a sign that San Jose controlled the game from the start. Steve still has hope that this team, with their resilience, will make the playoffs.
1:40 – Opening Day: Dan is upset that Jeff Francoeur won’t be here this year. He’s also watched the first hour of Mildred Pierce. Everything that we knew coming out of spring training last year, was completely turned upside down by the end of the year.
2:00 – Donovan’s New Opening Day Song: It’s set to the tune of “A Beautiful Day”. It’s got baseball and white women. If you missed it, it’s your fault. Donnie’s got some pipes! Dan’s favorite parts, the racist stuff about black people and credit and Adrian Beltre’s head rub phobia.
2:15 – Emily Jones: The famous celebrity Emily Jones joins the show. In person! She made the trip from the big ballpark to the small ballpark via a golf cart that was given to her by Hoggie. Emily Jones is 5 ½ months pregnant. Date of conception, around World Series time last year. There’s also a boom in pregnancy amongst the Rangers’ wives. Emily initially thought that the umbilical cord was her son’s weenie. She’s going to stick with her job until she has the baby, take a little time off then be back on the grind. “I’m still using drugs now, why would I give birth without them.” – Emily Jones. Emily denies the rumor that Jim Knox has a pager that goes off whenever someone over the age of 95 walks into the stadium.
2:40 – Twitter Talk: The Musers are battling with Bob and Dan, it’s kind of idiotic. George Dunham has acquired the rights to his fake account. Blah. Blah. Blah. Now to screenless. Food GIFs. How to Properly Fry a Turkey. A Great Conversation Amongst Scholars
3:00 – Screw WTDS, It’s RAAAAANGERS TIME!!!
Listen to BaD Radio everyday from 12 – 3pm on Sports Radio 1310 The Ticket. I do, and I has opulence.