There was a Cowboys Press Conference that started at noon.
The Open: “I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo t-shirt.” “I was watching Steinfeld last night.” Congratulations to the Ticket Team, defeating the college All-Stars, 3-2. Donovan was the winning coach and Dan went 2 for 2 with 2 RBIs, a solid performance by the Sports Humorist. Dan got drunk and started planking at the ballpark last night. He sucked at it, so he went to the next level with “Owling”. Dan may or may not have bought a pitcher of beer for a group of under 21 girls.
12:50 – NFL Talk: Recently cut Cowboy, Roy Williams, has agreed to go to the Chicago Bears. The Bears were supposed to be a big spender this offseason, yet they’ve traded Greg Olson and are on the verge of bringing in Roy Williams and his wood block hands. This is going to be reunion for Roy and the recently hired Mike Martz, Bob thinks that this idea that they will be able to recreate the success they had in Detroit is very flawed. Also, Sam Hurd is on his way to Chicago. This is a big loss for the Cowboys special teams, but you can’t pay him what he wants for only a special teams captain. Chicago is going to pay him to be a WR.
1:10 – NFL Talk: Chad Ochocinco has been traded to the New England Patriots, this is just another former star trying to re-amp his career under Belichick and Tom Brady. Bob thinks it’s interesting that the Bengals were willing to trade Ochocinco but not Carson Palmer. It would be great if Belichick makes Chad wear number 82, so his name would make no sense. One begins to wonder if everyone gives the Patriots a longer leash before they criticize them on their trades and signings. Yes, they’re good but they haven’t won a Super Bowl since 2004. Donovan thinks that if any other team signed Albert Haynesworth, they would call it a dumb move. Bob feels that something is going to happen tonight on the Nnamdi Asomugha front. New York or Dallas? Rex Ryan or Rob Ryan? Break the bank for him or replenish your defensive line? There are holes at both safety positions as well, I hope this is not just a reach for a big name by Jerry Jones.
1:35 – Some Audio: The commercial of this year that drives Dan crazy is this beatdown of a promo. There is also some audio of Channel 5 sports reporter, Rontina McCann, butchering the name of Andre Gurode (she went phonetically). It’s even worse considering that he is one of the longest tenured Cowboys on the roster. And finally, here is an auto tuned version of the NASCAR prayer, with a country twist.
1:55 – Ask Sports Sturm: This is a pretty cut and dry look into the Average Averages in baseball. Bob went through and found the average for each league in ERA, AVG, OBP, SLG. Take a look and see for yourself and use it as a reference when you wonder how your favorite player stacks up. You will notice that by looking at these averages, baseball is trending towards a pitching dominated league. This is undoubtedly due to baseball cleaning up the game.
2:40 – Screenless: Here’s a video of Girls Failing. It’s awesome. Louis CK on Letterman for the first time in 15 years. And because I’m an equal opportunist, here’s a compilation of fail from both men and women.
3:00 – Why Today Doesn’t Suck: On this day, Princess Di and Prince Charles got married. Happy Birthday to Ken Burns, Danger Mouse, Wil Wheaton and Bang My Stepmom.
Listen to BaD Radio everyday from 12 – 3pm on Sports Radio 1310 The Ticket. I do, and I has opulence.